big, big girl

11 months ago:



Today:




This kid is now saying, "momma," "dada," "uh oh," "thank you," and "papa"
She:
-nods her head 'yes'
-makes 'sad' faces on command
-dances to music
-claps her hands and waves 'hi'
-loves Elmo, Momma, and Dada (hopefully not in that order)
-thinks she can survive on cheerios
-thinks being naked is just the best ever
-Walks!

Where, oh, where has the time gone?

Third Best Moment of My Life!

So, what amazing event could have possibly happened at 3:42 a.m.?

Let's just say, I'm a free woman! (and not in the way that Wendy meant it a few months ago!)

My thesis proposal is officially done! After months of research and too many nights of going to bed at 5 a.m., I am now going to rest easy tonight - no random thoughts of "did I include this?" "did I mention that?" "I may never finish this paper..." keeping me up at night.

When I proofread it for the 4th and final time, I hit "save," and jumped up off the couch - the joy was uncontainable! But there was no one to hug or jump around the living room with because the rest of my family goes to bed at a decent hour.
I had to get it out somehow - hence, this blogpost.

Hallelujah!

Have you ever even seen so many exclamation marks?!!

ladies' night - oh what a night

That's right, girls....

The last time we had one was 2 days before Gray was born. *3 1/2 months ago*

This Friday night, put your babies in bed, kiss your man goodbye, and come on!

There will be coffee and hot chocolate so just bring something to munch on and it'll be a party.

Christal Noland's house

9 p.m.

*please note: coffee will be served, martini's will not. : )

silly daddy

Brandon and Brylie playing in her room...

Brandon: (singing) "Brylie Baby, baby girl, sweetest girl in the whole wide world. I love you, oh yes I do, sweet little Brylie............um, Mari!!!"

Me: "What?"

Brandon: "What's Brylie's middle name?"

Caught!

all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go

Is anyone besides me super-stoked about the retreat?
I honestly can't even concentrate on the mountains of homework and incessant waves of emails that I have to deal with.
How wonderfully peaceful it will be to get to spend a weekend with a bunch of amazing women who just want to get to know their Daddy a little better than before.

Ahhh...

the blog with no agenda

Our halloween costumes: Lois, Clark, and Princess Brylie

Relaxing after church.

And this was taken today. We were just playing around and she nearly fell off the bed! Daddy saved her life though. He's very good at that. : )

juice - the ultimate evil

No one warned me.
I had no idea that it could inflict that much damage on sweet, soft, baby booty skin.
She seriously looks like she's got 3rd degree burns on her hiney. Or a disease that should be on a poster at Planned Parenthood.
All this for 3 oz. of watered-down pear juice?

crazy.

I've tried Desitin, Balmex, Nystatin, and Boudreaux's Butt Paste. I've even tried the old "air it out" trick and just ended up with pee all over our rug.

So, please help. Any suggestions?

boobie blues

Let me start by saying, no one is forcing you to read this. If you wish to continue on, do so with the knowledge that you had your chance, the "back" button is right up there on your screen.

Here goes:

I have mastitis. Again.

I don't know how this happens! Everything I read says that "between 1-3% of nursing mothers experience mastitis, typically within the first 2-6 weeks of their child's life."

Well, my kid is 9 months old and I've fallen into the "1-3%" three times now.

This time I actually had to go through the "flu-like symptoms" that I was warned would happen if I didn't catch it in time.
So Tuesday morning (my "crazy, jam-packed schedule" day of the week), I woke up feeling horrible. I'm pretty much never sick - I can't afford to be. But I really thought I had the flu. So, I handed Brylie off to her daddy and said, "I'm going back to sleep...indefinitely."
He obliged and whisked her away to a morning of peach puffs and sesame street.
An hour later, I rolled over onto what I realized was a rather sensitive area, and it hit me.
Nooooooo.

So, Brandon had to cancel his day to stay home and be Mr. Mommy/Mommy's nurse.
The only time I managed to drag myself out of the bed all day was to write 3 emails to my profs explaining why I wouldn't be showing up for work/school (without really explaining why - I can just imagine these people discussing my boob issues amongst themselves).
Funny thing is, it took a few hours for me to realize that I didn't HAVE to get up and go to work. Take a day off to moan, groan, and flop around in bed? Never.
But I did it. I wish I could have actually enjoyed my day off, but I guess that's the way it goes.

Two days later, I don't feel "flu-ish" anymore, but I'm still sore. So that means the issue hasn't resolved itself yet. I've read that if it doesn't, they'll have to go in and take care of it...

but I guess two good things have come of this:
when I finally emerged from the bedroom, gas had dropped 10 more cents
and
I didn't change a single diaper all day long : )

brace yourselves

The "twelve days of Christmas" lights are already set up by the river.

Dillards has exquistely decorated trees up for all to see.

Our heater is on.

These are all signs...
It's coming, people.

i've come to a conclusion...

Having a husband that does housework is way more important than making sure my clothes don't shrink in the dryer.

compliments of Dr. S

Since she's originally from India, she sometimes forgets her English words or uses the wrong one entirely.
Tonight she was telling us about counseling in a prison setting. She said, "Now when you sit down to evaluate a primate... wait, that's not right. What do you call a person in prison?"

We all had a good laugh about that, and then she told us about a time right after she moved to America. She said it had rained really hard and the pond in her backyard flooded. There were slugs everywhere.
She started yelling for her husband, "Charlie! Come here, there are sluts everywhere! Oh my goodness, there are so many sluts! Charlie, get these horrible, disgusting sluts out of my yard!"
Her husband (who is American) ran outside and said, "Sangeeta, you're using the wrong word, quiet down or the neighbors will hear you!"

: )
Hope that brightened your day.

welcome to my pity party

I am stressed out.
I don't even know how I found time for this. Maybe because it's 2 a.m. and I'm about to wrap up the homework and work for the night. Maybe this is my therapy. Either way, I'm in need of something. An intervention.

I've just about lost it twice today and I feel another bout coming on. Not over anything too serious: school, hurt feelings, and Sprint's wrongful depletion of our savings account.
I have way too much on my plate. I'm not man enough to drop any responsibilities, but at least I'm no longer in denial. The problem is, I care very much about every commitment I've made.

Being stressed makes me feel like I'm in serious need of some alone time with Him.
I know I am.

I need peace. I need refreshment. I need to have no responsibilities.
Surely the world can do without me for one day.

The Magic Shoppe

So in my Group Counseling class, we've been learning about different ways to conduct group therapy sessions. This last technique was Psychotherapy, or more specifically, Psychodrama.
(I promise this story gets better, hang with me).

One particular method within the category of Psychodrama is called "The Magic Shoppe." I don't know why it's spelled with a "pe" instead of with a "p" - maybe we're trying to class it up a bit.
Anyway, the way it works is there are 30 different positive personality traits to choose from. The group members can pick any one of those that they wish they had and trade in a negative one in exchange for it. For the next week, they use the positive trait and not the negative trait.
The theory behind it is, they will see how much better life is with the positive one and without the negative one and try to continue living that way.

Can you guess what I chose? Remember, I'm the girl who has the Nike Plus wristband, the shoes, and the desire to run, but for some reason can't get my tired booty out of bed at 6 a.m. to actually run.
I chose "will power."
And I gave up "my desire to please everyone by taking on a million and one things that I don't possibly have the time to do."
So this is yet another effort to get myself movin'.

Yikes...accountability.
If this doesn't work, I don't know what will.

pacifier drama

Nevermind the fact that Brylie has wanted nothing to do with her pacifier for the last 8 1/2 months. The teeth are hurting and now she wants it.
We went out of town for the weekend and took along 1 paci. Big mistake. 1 pacifier? What was I thinking?
Just 3 hours into the trip, we left the pacifier at Cracker Barrel. Once in Medina (middle of nowhere), we realized what had happened and stopped at a gas station. Nothing. They've got 3 kinds of formula, cereal, juice, bottles, diapers, baby shampoo, baby lotion, and baby powder...but no pacifiers.
The next morning (after an all night scream-fest), we went into Bandera to the Super S to continue our search for the ever-so-elusive pacifier. They had some Nuk paci's. Brylie's never had that kind before, but we were desperate. And of course...she wanted nothing to do with them.
Later that night in a desperate attempt to get some sleep, Brandon and I put our plastic church camp mattresses on the floor, Brylie between us, and I became the human pacifier for the night.
...and Brylie had to switch sides every hour...on the hour.

But, we made it back and are slowly, but surely, getting caught back up on sleep.

And remember that pacifier that I thought we had lost at Cracker Barrel? I found it in my purse this morning.

to sum up our lives..

What we think of that Sprint bill:





Vogue-ing:







Proof Brylie has hair:

Brylie discovers the camera...

another little gem from dr. s

This morning I had to take Brylie to school with me while I worked.
When I went into Dr. S's office, Brylie had her pacifier in her mouth and Dr. S said, (in a thick Indian accent) "Oh, you have nipple in your mouth! You take it out so I can see pretty face?"

Later...
I stopped by her class to grab something, she sees me, and says, "Come in! Come in! Let the class see pretty baby!"

As I'm walking up to the front to show everyone 'pretty baby,' I hear...
"Earlier she had her nipple in her mouth, so I couldn't see her face. But Mommy took nipple out and I see she's so beautiful!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did she really just say that to 40 eighteen-year-olds?

Oh. My. Word.
Now all these kids think I just walk around the psych department with my shirt off.
Fantastic.

Well, maybe enrollment will go up...

poor, pathetic little me

The other day, I got a voicemail from an old friend who said she missed talking to me, wanted to catch up, and asked me to call her back.

When I did, she revealed her true purpose:
she just started her new Mary Kay business.

poor, pathetic little me.

I thought she wanted to be my friend...

: )

why is it...?

Why is it, that when you have so much to do that you don't even know where to start, you just don't?

I am so on the ball.

23

I am 2 hours and twenty minutes into my 23rd year of life. Or is it the beginning of my 24th...? Anyway, don't ask what I'm doing up this late. It's a mixture of work and homework that just won't seem to end.

But, here's a run-down of the last 3 hours:

11:30 p.m. - Brandon disappears out the front door with his guitar.

11:55 p.m. - I look at the clock, realize that I'm 5 minutes away from the one day a year that I can do whatever I want, and proceed into the kitchen to prepare for the occasion.

11:58 p.m. - I emerge from the kitchen with a 1/2 gallon of blue bell 'cookies and cream' ice cream and a quart of 'cherry vanilla' ice cream. Oh yes.

12:03 a.m. - ok, that's enough ice cream.

12:10 a.m. - Brandon busts in the door and (Gus-Gus-from-Cinderella style) says, "du-du-du HAP-py BIRT-day!"

12:12 a.m. - he sings me the song he was writing for me when he was outside.

That, plus Ichiban's tomorrow ... not too shabby.
Not too shabby at all.

the new dress code

So, tonight, I'm in my Group Counseling class. Since class is 3 hours long, that gives Dr. S a good...oh...2 hours of time to ramble before we have to actually get down to business.
(yes, I have calculated how much money I'm wasting on this education...)

She spent all two hours of that tonight talking about a religious meeting she went to where she was asked to speak on Hinduism and Sikhism. She's a Christian now, but since she was raised in India, she knows all about those religions.

She knows I'm a Christian - we've actually spent a lot of time in her office talking about our faith.

She also is very outspoken and doesn't always think things through before she says them.

I say all that to get to this...

Tonight, I was just minding my own business, not doing anyone any harm, when I hear her say,
"Mari is very, very spiritual. She doesn't look it....but she is!"

Everyone's falling out of their chairs and laughing, while Dr. S is trying to figure out what she said that is so funny. She may have been in America for 30 years, but she still has a lot to learn.

So, yeah, if anyone's got some spare "nun clothes" lying around, can I borrow them? It's time I start dressing a little more spiritual.


fyi: I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt...not a string bikini.

where, oh where, have I been?

Underneath my name on seph's blog, it said "two weeks ago." I swore that would never happen, but moving, school, work, and a certain cable/internet company dragging their heels about switching service over caused it to most certainly happen. But now, I'm back.

So....the last two weeks....

We moved. I hate moving. We're probably staying in this house forever. Here's my equation for happiness....
Brandon, me, Brylie, and however many more kids God gives us + two bedroom house - moving ever again = bliss.
________________________________________________
I fell for the old gig again. "Mrs. Sykes, when we switch your internet/cable services over to your new house, for just $10 more a month, you can get 50 more channels and HBO!"
Wow! Just $10?! Sign me up!
So the guy comes out to install it...and hands me a bill for $250.
Uhhh...no. So, before he left, we had figured out a way to get it down to $55.
Do I look stupid? I must look stupid. Why do these companies keep trying to take advantage of me? Someone needs to warn these companies that I've had enough. The next one that tries this mess might get an earfull.
_________________________________________________
I haven't been running.
: (
_________________________________________________
The good news!
Brylie's heart is perfect. The cardiologist said there was no murmur and no reason to ever think there was a problem.
So, to answer your question: yes, I'm still thinking of switching pediatricians.

Out of the Silence, God can Roar

Today's lesson on healing was not one I'll soon forget. When David started talking about Duane Miller, the preacher from Houston that was healed during a taped sermon, I thought, "Oh man, I would love to hear that!" So, you can imagine my excitement when he said, "Can you start that audio?"

So, in case you weren't there today, here's the story: Basically, this preacher (and apparently an amazing one, at that) was diagnosed with a virus that affected the nerve endings in his vocal cords. Supposedly, doctors say he should have ended up mute.

Well, he couldn't preach anymore because his voice was little more than a hoarse whisper, so he just started teaching smalll classes on Sunday nights (using a very powerful microphone). He went on this way for about 3 years.

Then, one day, God worked a miracle.



Go to http://www.nuvoice.org/ and click "The Moment" on the bottom left of the page. Pay attention to the words he was saying as it happens...



Isn't that powerful?! And to get to be witnesses to this. . . just amazing.



I glanced at Brandon out of the corner of my eye and I could see tears streaming down his face. Then mine started. God is so, so good.



"Out of despair, God can bring joy.

Out of doubt, God can reveal truth.

Out of trial, God can bring peace.

Out of pain, God can bring healing.

Out of silence, God can roar."

From Out of the Silence, by Duane Miller

my little boy

the "i am not a boy!" onesie has been put to the test...
and failed miserably.

So we're sitting at sunset grill today. Brylie is on Brandon's lap and an old man (of course) walks up and says

"Hi little guy!"

cue the dropping jaws

"Oh, I just need to take him home with me"

is this guy serious?!

"You wanna come home with me, boy?"

Brandon holds her arms up just to make sure her onesie is readable

"He is just the sweetest little baby"

yes, the pink and glitter letters are completely visible

"What a cute little guy"

Does my baby have a beard or something?

It's ok to tell me. Maybe I'm just blinded by love.


On a lighter note, Brylie had the time of her life at Mug & Muffin this morning at DeLana's.
The minute we walked up, Nanna and Bacamama took over and showed her the time of her life. Everytime I looked over, she was tasting new and exciting things and getting it all over herself!
I'm so glad my baby has so many "grandmothers" that love her : )

did anyone notice...?

That during McCain's speech tonight, he said...

"If you don't like the way our country is, do something to fix it. Run for office, join the ministry, serve food to a hungry child, teach an illiterate adult to read..."

and then the camera panned to a man holding a sign that read, "McCain is a Mavrick."

Maybe the cameraman is a democrat.

: )

the human race.

About to start.


Piersol and Hanson from the U.S. men's swim team.


Lance Armstrong (in yellow)


Me and my cute little runner

Brylie with her Pop and Meme.

Sadly, I could never get a picture of Matthew McConaughey. Brandon ran right next to him for a while and said he runs funny. But, apparently it works for him - he didn't do too badly. Brandon's time was something like 50 or 51 minutes. I'm so proud!

walmart really does have everything.

This is the new onesie I got for Brylie at walmart.





Actually, it's mostly for me.


Because if one more old man asks, "What's his name?" when I'm holding a baby in a pink dress with a pink bow in her hair, I might just implode.



This, is the little gem I found for Brandon:




It was $2. Considerably more than I would ever pay for an average spiral notebook. But this is not your average spiral notebook. Not when Chuck Norris graces the cover.

So, in conclusion, walmart really does have everything you need.

a big fat sigh

The last week of my life has been incredibly crazy, eventful, and awesome. Here you go:

- Chi Alpha is doing tons on campus right now, and thankfully, we're winding down. Dorm move-ins, hamburger cookout, fajita cookout, 3 on 3 basketball tournament, capture the flag, and the welcome back to campus party. Tomorrow we end the week with Lennon speaking on campus about how to stay christian in college. Monday night we had a record 170 people at Chapter 1! It was so awesome to see all of the hard work paying off. What a blessing.

- I met the prof. that I'm going to be a GA for this semester. She's an older lady from India who has a reputation for being a fireball. I've had her a prof. a few times before and it's been interesting. The classes weren't difficult, but she, personally, was. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward to this semester - it'll be a welcome challenge.
- I might end up just loving her since she's going to let me work at home a lot. I'm sure I will.
How blessed am I to have two very flexible jobs that don't require me to put Brylie in daycare?
Very!

- Speaking of which, Ashley is going to be taking care of Bry for about 6-7 hours a week. I'm stoked. There aren't just a ton of people that I am comfortable leaving her with very often, but Ash is one of them. And, it works that she already loves my baby, lives across the street from the school (where I'll be working), and can use a little extra money.

So, in conclusion, God is good. He's taking care of us and just continually proves his faithfulness.
Thank you, Father.

What a Show Off

I think I must have the cutest little nephew in the world.



When he gets older, I'm going to give him so much candy...

A Pat on the Back

Today was such a good day.

A little church, lunch with friends, leadership meeting with some more good friends, and then relaxing at home with my two favorites.
We knew today was going to be the last day that would offer any form of relaxation for a while, so we took advantage of it.
The best part of today though, was the Chi Alpha leadership meeting and here's why:

This time of year is so so busy with all of the things that Chi Alpha does on campus. Every year we get a little better about reaching out to the new freshmen but it takes so much work. We're talking 2 months of planning and 1 week of doing. Full time stuff, here. But it's awesome. The best part is, of course, looking back later and seeing all of the people that are in Chi Alpha (and the Kingdom!) as a result of this crazy week.

Today, one of our fairly new guys came to the meeting to share with us a little about his past and why he comes to Chapter 1 now. He wanted to encourage us and let us know that what we do really matters, even when it seems like all we're doing is sowing with very little reaping.

He said that he had spent so much time being lonely that he just couldn't take it anymore. He described himself as a "slave to technology," having spent every waking hour alone in his apartment with his computer. His parents used to be so worried about him that they would show up on his doorstep in the middle of the night just to check on him. But, eventually they got tired of the one-sided relationship and they, too, stopped coming by.

He said that he had a Chapter 1 friend who was constantly inviting him to come on Monday nights and spent lots of time trying to share Jesus with him. But more than that, he was a genuine friend that stayed faithful through it all. He said that he was always nervous about opening up to his friend because he thought that the second he showed any type of curiosity about Christianity, he would be revealed for what he was, and this "Christian" guy would just judge him.
So he shut his friend out and avoided deep, meaningful conversation with him.

After 6 months of being invited weekly, he gave up and came to Chapter 1.
He was amazed at the people that he met. He couldn't believe that these people, too, looked at him with that same genuine look that his friend looked at him with.
He even described how much the handshakes meant to him. Lots of people shook his hand and wanted to talk to him and get to know him - but it had been so long since he had had any real contact with anyone that the handshakes were just so refreshing.
Even though he knew he was surrounded by people that wanted to love him, he went home with a hard heart. After spending so much time alone, he didn't know how to live any other way.

Something else was bothering him. That word "surrender." He just couldn't get away from it. Why was everyone always talking about surrendering? He couldn't understand why he had to surrender. Wasn't just believing Jesus existed enough? Why did he have to give up control?

That night, by himself in his apartment, things changed.

He knew he was on the verge of making that crucial connection with his Lord but he didn't know how. And since he didn't feel like he had anyone to talk him through it, he just broke down.
Not knowing what to say or do, he finally surrendered.

......................................................................................................
Just a few months later, he has become such a huge part of our ministry. He has pretty much taken on the new Chi Alpha website and is working on building it from the ground up. This guy is so talented and it's been amazing to see the way God has chosen to use him. What's even more amazing is seeing how this guy has surrendered his talents to the One who gave them to him in the first place.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to share in the fun when your kids finally come running home to you.

What happens when Daddy gets her dressed...

All night long, I kept trying to figure out why her bloomers were slightly "thong-like."





Turns out, Daddy put her body through a leg hole.




Ahhh, I love moments like these!

Retraction

Due to recent events and the video proof of them (see below), I would like to retract my statement that I am ready to do the whole "baby thing" over again.

Now that Brylie is mobile, I realize that a big, fat belly would just make it even more difficult to chase her around.

So, no. Talk to me again when we're potty training.

****************************************

Another thing, Brylie doesn't want baby food anymore.

The last two nights she's thrown fits, spit it out, and nose-dived into my chest.

I guess she's trying to tell me she doesn't want to grow up. And I'm ok with that : )

baby gates and outlet plugs

Well, I guess it's official:

Life as I know it just got a little more dangerous.

What do you think this is?

When I opened up the package of hair bows from China that I ordered, this was in there.

I guess it's some kind of free gift.

Cabbage on a key chain?

Pretty funny.

Somebody stop me

All of a sudden,

I miss being pregnant.

And I miss having a newborn.

And I feel ready to do it over again.

But I'm not.

Am I?

Brandon would freak out if he knew I was thinking this.
Maybe I'll go tell him and videotape his reaction.
: )

Why I Love Brandon...

There are lots of reasons, but here's one that just happened:

Brylie's teething pretty badly right now so getting her to sleep at night has been horrible for the last 3 nights. Tonight, I finally didn't know what to do so I just put her in her crib with music, a pacifier, and a wet washcloth to chew on (for her gums). She cried for a few minutes and then it got quiet.
Brandon came out 10 minutes later with a huge grin on his face and shaking his fists in victory.

I asked, "You did that?"
He said, "Yep."
"How?" I wondered in amazement.
He smiled and said, "I just rocked her, stroked her sweet little face, and told her all of the things I loved about her until she fell asleep."


I'm so glad he's my babydaddy.

Stinkin' Amazing

Just because I'm amazed at what Jenny can do, I have to share...

And those are just a few of them!

...wow...

Borderline anxiety

As of August 25th, I will be a full-time student, working two part-time jobs, with a husband and baby.
Pray for me.

Pray for Brandon, too. He'll be a full-time student, working a full-time job, with a wife and a baby.

And somehow, in all this craziness, we have a plan to help us avoid daycare. Who knows how this'll work, but it's the plan. Let's just say, there will be lots of "Brylie hand-offs" on campus.

I've always kept my schedule full - I prefer to be busy becaue it makes me feel like I'm not wasting time. However, I've never been THIS busy.

I'm slightly nervous, slightly anxious, but very excited to see what the future holds for our family.

So, here we go.

Down with Sprint

I need my cell phone, but I can do without cell phone companies.

You know how they call you at 7 a.m. to offer you a *great deal* on a new phone when yours works just fine? Well that happened to me - but I managed to talk them down from $145 to $9.99 (it can be done, just set your mind to it).

Anyway, I told them I was not going to buy a new phone if I couldn't transfer my pictures over from my old phone. They assured me that I could. So I bought two (one for me, one for Brandon).

Then, after waiting in the Sprint line for 30 minutes, they told me I can't.
On top of that, they've been charging us an extra $15 a month for services that we didn't ask for or know we had - like internet!

I'm ready to start a coalition of people who are sick of being taken advantage of by companies who 'nickel and dime' their way through my bank account.

Oh, Sprint, why do I remain so faithfully yours?

Is this MY child?

I just took this while she was sleeping peacefully in her crib.

I looked back over some past blogs (less than 4 weeks ago) where I was complaining about not being able to get her to sleep in her own bed. Thank you, Jesus, for giving us success in that area so we can have moments like these.

Boy, do I love this kid.

Tales from the Pediatrician's Office...

Doctors crack me up.
When I say "doctors," I mean Brylie's pediatrician.
He's a nice guy - somewhat of a spazz - but a nice guy, nonetheless.
I've learned to only share some of the details with him - never the whole truth - why does he need to know things that might get me in trouble?

He asks, "How often is she eating?"
I reply, "As often as she wants...?"
Him: "How much does she eat?"
Me: "Umm..." (how am I supposed to know?!)
Him: "Does she sleep through the night?"
Me: "Yes" (what I mean by Yes is 'she sleeps in her crib 'til around 4 when she wakes up and I immediately put her in bed with me and Brandon and nurse her back to sleep. I do this mostly for me because I missed her and I don't care if that makes me a bad mother - I'm doing it.)

Once I made the mistake of telling him that I do this and his response was, "Ok, so our goal for the next few weeks is to get her sleep ALL through the night..."

Our goal? Am I supposed to call him in the middle of the night so he can come over and comfort my screaming baby?
Maybe that's his goal, but my goal is to sleep.

What a funny guy... he's all jokes.

What I do love about him is his thoroughness. That man knows my baby's body better than I do. But what I don't love about him is his inability to 'beat around the bush' when necessary.

So yesterday, we go in for her 6 month well baby exam, and he informs us that she has a heart murmur. Straight up - just like that. No "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about - this kind of thing is very common...." Nothing like that.
So, I immediately freak out (of course) because all I know about heart murmurs is that they involve the heart (a vital organ) and that sometimes people need those replaced (and images of the St. Jude commercials pop into my head).
He gives us the card of a pediatric cardiologist in San Antonio and tells us to make an appointment ASAP. That does not help with the freaking out.

So, what do I do?
I make the appointment. And I cry all day. And I hold Brylie and cherish every movement and sound she makes. And I google 'heart murmurs,' and freak out some more.
Then I talk to Sarah (a friend who's a nurse) and she tells me that heart murmurs are common, almost always mean nothing, and that Brylie's pedi is well-known as the 'resident spazz' who orders lots and lots of tests (unnecessarily at times) just to covers his bases.

So can I blame the guy for trying to be a good doctor? I do like that he's thorough - but does he have to freak me out like that? We're still keeping that cardiologist appointment just because now I need to know for sure.

But...
I'm not freaking out anymore - I just wish that appointment wasn't two months away so I wouldn't have to think about it until then.

I thought I was tough..

...but I'm not. I wasn't prepared for this at all. Long after the pregnancy hormones are gone, the slightest little thing still makes me want to cry...

• Her sweet little voice that wakes me up in the morning. And the smile that greets me as soon as I open my eyes.
• The way she talks to her reflection in the mirror every morning.
• A cute, toothless grin from underneath her pink duck towel.
• Her pathetic little frown when she watches me walk out of a room.
• How she reaches up for me when I come back.
• How she knows it's bedtime when I turn on her lullaby c.d. and she immediately snuggles up against my chest and closes her eyes.
• The way she looks at her daddy as if he's already her hero.
• How Mommy can calm her down like no one else.

After 6 months of being her mommy, I feel like my heart is worn out from so much love. I literally feel like I don't have enough strength for the next 6 months.

How do people do this for so long? Doesn't it just get worse?

I really think it's impossible to understand even a hint of God's love for us until you experience the love of a parent for a child...

Remember that weekend I was excited about...?

Ok, let me just start by saying that I am already at the point at which I can laugh about all of this...



So on Sunday, Brandon and I loaded up Brylie and Gracie (the dog) and drove down to my parents ranch in the hill country. They told us they would keep the baby while Brandon and I went to Schlitterbahn on Monday.

We're driving out in the middle of nowhere, in broad daylight, and we hit a deer. No joke. Actually, it hit us...it slammed into the drivers' side door and flew over the top of our car. There was no significant damage to our car, but this is the 4th deer we have hit since we've been married. That's a lot of deer accidents in 2 1/2 years. So we weren't too thrilled about that.



Then, we wake up the next morning and drive what we thought was going to be 2 hours to New Braunfels. Nope. 2 hours of road construction later, we've only travelled 45 miles. Fantastic.

Finally, we get to Schlitterbahn. We're so stinkin' excited to be there. We drive up to the parking lot and we're met with a large sign that reads, "Parking lot full. Please proceed to west side parking lot."

Ok, for those of you who don't know how Schlitterbahn is set up, that means 'drive a few more miles down the road to the not-as-fun part of the waterpark and tram your way back to the cool kids area.' So we did.

And that one was full too.

I'm thinking, "It's MONDAY, people! Don't you have jobs?!?"

Finally, we found a ghetto-looking parking lot that we could park in. It looked like a parking lot that Schlitterbahn rents when they run out of other parking lots.

Brandon asks, "Should we just got back into San Antonio and hang out for the day?"

I say, "No, you've been looking forward to this, let's just do it."

So, we trekked up to the ticket booth, paid $78.00 (with the coupon) and get on the tram to go to the cool part of Schlitterbahn.

When we get there, we get in line for the Master Blaster. An hour and a half later, we slide out of the last tube of the Master Blaster and say, "That wasn't worth the wait."

Man.

After a few trips around the wave pool, we had lunch, walked around to find a short line, couldn't find one, trammed back to the other park, walked around some more, and then left.

I was going to attempt to earn back some of the $78 by selling my wristband to one of the latecomers in the parking lot, but Brandon told me that was unethical and dishonest.



So, we went back to the ranch...

And the next day, we had a lot of fun hanging out with Brylie and my parents...free fun. We built a deck at their house and swam in the swimming hole. It really was awesome.



So, the moral of this story is: fun is free, not $78.

And, don't worry, I'm pretty sure the deer was able to just shake it off.

Mommy Moments, both good...and bad

First..."The Good"

I ordered some of those headbands and bows from the Chinese Ebay lady that Melissa told me about. I'm stoked.

I cannot wait to go to Schlitterbahn with my hubby (and my hubby ONLY) on Monday! This is our first official "date" since Brylie was born. My parents volunteered to keep her for the day at their ranch which is just a drive from New Braunfels.

Maybe we'll kiss and hold hands in the MasterBlaster line like the teenagers... : )

I like to wait until Bry is good and asleep and then just go stare at her in her crib. I'm sure I'm not the only one to do this, but sometimes I just want to pick her up and give her a big kiss and hug!
But I don't...no way.


I painted her toenails today. I've been wanting to do it for a while, so I just waited until she fell asleep in her carseat and then I grabbed the polish! So stinkin' cute...we match!
After I did it, I thought, "I hope she's not too young for this." Oh well, it's adorable and we got some great pictures!

And now, for your entertainment, the "Bad Mommy Moment."

Last night was my little bro's 21st birthday, so we all went to Chili's to celebrate. While we're sitting there, I picked up a lemon (that I thought was mine) and put it up to Brylie's mouth for her to lick (which she loves). After about a minute, my brother says, "Um, is that MY lemon?" At first, everyone looked at him like, "Wow, pretty stingy with the lemon, Dave..." until we realized that not only was the lemon actually his, but it had come out of his "21st birthday celebratory drink!"

Oh my...

So, my 6 month old baby now knows what alcohol tastes like. And worse, she wanted the lemon back.

Growing Up

I'm feeling the need to grow up. And I don't like it.

Every morning I open my closet and I really really want to put on my hole-y jeans and an old thrift store t-shirt. All that stuff reminds me of the old days when Brandon and I were in College Station, dating, and hanging out with our friends all night...and then waking up (sometimes) for class at 8 a.m. We would all go to the vintage stores looking for some 10 cent "gems" and sometimes get in arguments about who saw it first.

If a fantastic thrift store shirt happened to be a size medium, I would have to hide it in the bottom of my drawer or else Brandon would snatch it and try to squeeze his big, giant, manly muscles into it (Love you babe).

I have this one t-shirt that my friend, Laura, begs me for everytime she sees me in it. It's a "YMCA Father/Daughter Indian Princess" t-shirt that I found at the Catholic Charities Thrift Store for a quarter. It's a Youth Large, but I guess I stretched it out enough over the years, and it's full of tiny holes. It's awesome. Brandon loves it on me, too, so I still wear that one. I'll probably be buried in it...but Laura would just dig me up.

I love those clothes and I just can't get rid of them.
That would be officially becoming a grown-up.

I'm just not ready for blazers and slacks and high heels, at least not on a daily basis. I'd better end up being self-employed.

I guess it's all a generational thing. I'm just from the generation that ok'd vintage clothes in college.

The more I think about it, the more I think I'll just be a grown-up that sometimes wears thrift store t-shirts...

(For those of you who were hoping to read something insightful or introspective, I'm sorry.)

The amazingly awesome Indian Princess t-shirt.

I need an intervention

My latest obsession: finding the perfect headband/bow for Brylie.

I have scoured ebay and all of the online boutiques, but I can't seem to find anything good for less than $10. And that, my friends, is just too much to pay for a hair accessory.

Despite having no skills, I really tried to make one myself.
but...

Let's just say there was a hot glue incident that does not need to be described in detail.

I don't know the kid in this picture but I really like her headband.

But no one sells those crocheted headbands!

Both HobbyLobby and Hancock's said, "I don't know why we stopped selling them - everyone loved them." Clearly the higher-ups dropped the ball on this one.

So, in conclusion, if anyone has one that they don't need anymore, please, please, put me out of my misery.

Today I was a single mother...

...of two.

Brylie and Brandon.

Brylie had one of her "days" where I am absolutely not allowed to put her down for anything.
Brandon woke up sick, went to work anyway, came home early from work, slept all day, work up to eat 3 bites of soup, and went back to bed for the night.
Oh, and he called me three times to come in a rub his back...poor guy.

Today was supposed to be my "get everything done that I haven't gotten done yet" day, but none of it got done.

Let me just say, that I do not know how single mothers do it. I couldn't even fold a load of laundry, much less clean the house, work, go to school, and care for everyone who needed caring for. I have much respect for those women.

So, I was standing in the middle of the living room, holding Brylie (who still would not let me put her down), and looking around at everything that didn't get done; and I was throwing a pity party for myself.

So, I strapped Brylie in the old stroller, kissed my hubby on the forehead, and went for a nice, long walk around the neighborhood to talk to God.

He made it better : )

------------

Later, I read a friend's blog. She's been trying for almost 2 years to get pregnant and just found out that she's 5 weeks along. I clicked back through some of her past blogs and just about lost it as every month had a blog that said, "No baby this month..."
I sure take some things for granted.

Mid-Year's Resolution

My dad told me this story and his new resolution based on it. I liked it so much that I've resolved the same...

My parents were visiting some friends' church in a different town this last Sunday.
The minister called all of the kids up to the front for the "children's Bible study" time, and apologized to them because he kept dabbing his chin with a kleenex. He told them that he had cut his chin earlier and hadn't been able to get it to stop bleeding.

One of the little kids piped up, "Did you ask Jesus to make it stop bleeding?"

The minister just smiled and shook his head. "No, I haven't done that yet."

Then he started his lesson.

My dad, sitting in the pew, had readied himself for a prayer for healing. He was surprised to see that minister just shake his head and continue on with the bible study.

That got him thinking...

Which got me thinking...

What did that teach those kids?

That it's nice to talk about taking our problems to Jesus, but we don't do that in real life? Or maybe we just take the big ones. Or the small ones.
Are we afraid that He might say "No"? And if He does, will that affect our faith in His ability to take care of us?

How often do we pray 'in theory?'

When someone says, "Can you please pray for me?" no one ever says, "Nope" or even, "Ooo, I'll try...if I remember." We smile, nod, and assure them that they will be in our prayers. But even those of us who hit our knees daily have forgotten at least one prayer promise to another person.

At least.

So, I've adopted my dad's new resolution:

When someone asks, "Can you please pray for me?" I will.

Right then and there.

Grace.

Brandon and I decided today that we needed to go look for a new place to live. As it turns out, our landlord does not love us as he should and when we signed the lease, he neglected to tell us that our new home would have no insulation, many leaks, and 30-year-old carpet.

Since we can't take a baby to live in the ghetto and nice apartments (including bills) are ridiculously high, we're staying here.

I'm trying to look on the bright side though.

There's a back yard for Gracie, it's very centrally-located, and it's cute.

That "cute" thing is what gets me. It definitely has some curb appeal.

Even if it does get us ginormous electric bills.

Hmm.

God's never let us down.

Speaking of which...

Last week, I was slightly bummed about my support with Chi Alpha ending this month. I'm staying with it because I love it, but now, we'll be getting by on God's grace.

I started sending out the old resume' and I found this job with Big Brothers Big Sisters that I knew I would love...only problem is they wanted me to work 32 hours a week.

Not going to happen.

What would I do with Brylie?

So, we told God it was His call. The next day I got a random call from the head of the Psych department offering me a graduate assistantship..... .....that I didn't apply for.

Thank you, Lord!

Garage Sale on the 4th

Well, Ashley and I got a hankerin' to have a garage sale. We told our husbands to get all of the old junk together and get it out in the yard, thinking this would be a great way to celebrate America's independence. And boy was it!

It was a long, hot, tiring day....but we raked in over $700 put together!

Then, just because we hadn't sweat enough for one day, we went to the church picnic to sweat a little more. It was great though! Brylie tried watermelon and loved it so much I think she might just like me to fill her bottle with watermelon juice from here on out.

Finally, we came home, got ready for bed, and it took all of 4 minutes of crying in the crib for her to fall asleep. Hooray! We've officially won the bedtime battle!

Another poop story...

The other day at church, Brylie was sitting on my lap, and she tooted really loudly. I didn't really think anything of it (even though I should have...we're trying new diapers). When I handed her back to Brandon, I noticed that there was a PUDDLE of poop on my dress and she was absolutely covered in it. Brandon had to carry her out of church superman style and I had to sop up the poop with wipes before I walked out with the diaper bag covering my dress. I'm glad I took an extra outfit for her that day. I wish there was enough room in that diaper bag for an extra outfit for me.
.....................
Brylie is officially a "crib sleeper" now! It's so nice to get to actually have the light on and talk while we get ready for bed. Yay!
She also had her first bites of real food yesterday. 5 bites of banana. What a big girl! I can't believe how quickly she's growing.
It really hits home when I see how little Addielynn is. I held her yesterday at the playdate and she felt like she weighed nothing! Then, I hold my big old baby and she seems huge!

Progress?

I think we might be doing a little better with the sleeping situation...
She's now sleeping in her crib - but that opens up a whole new can of worms as far as motherhood paranoias go. All of a sudden, my child is a "tummy sleeper." Believe me, I know the SIDS risks - I've read all about them. But it is what it is.
Oh, I don't put her on her tummy, but she manages to get there despite my best intentions. So, for the first few hours, I would go in and flip her back to her back. Finally, I gave up and came in to check my trusty parenting blogs. They all said that when a baby can flip to their stomach, they are typically strong enough to move their heads and breathe.
So, ok.
Whatever gets me my sleep.

Slumbering Setbacks

Well, after 5 days of "vacation" and 5 nights of a different sleeping situation, we are now back to square one.

Brylie simply cannot sleep in her own bed.

The problem is we spent all 5 of those nights sleeping in the same bed, snuggling and snacking whenever she felt like it.

Now, it's no good at all.

If there's one thing I've learned in the last 5 months, it's that there's more than one right way to do things. What works for some may not work for me, so I've refused to let myself get down because Brylie doesn't just conk out at 9 p.m. like "every other baby in the world." The mistake I made was reading a parenting blog that said, "Letting your baby 'cry it out' is telling her that no one cares about her. Eventually she'll give up, not because she's sleepy, but because she's given up all hope that her mommy will come for her."

Now, I know that letting Brylie cry for a few minutes isn't going to ruin her forever, but when she cries for 5 minutes and then just lies there staring pitifully at the ceiling, what's my first thought?

"Oh great, she's given up all hope that her mommy will come for her!"

Ughhhhh......

Even though I know that's a ridiculous concept and the world would be filled with way more crazy people if "crying it out" led to a future in an institution, I just can't do it anymore.

Maybe I'm weak.

I wish babies had a "sleep mode" button on their foreheads.

Hmm.

Poop in the Tub

Today I found out that my child is not the prodigy that I thought she was. Up until today, I just laughed when I heard moms talk about their babies pooping while in the bathtub. They would shake their heads as they remembered specific times when they were faced with the struggle of getting a wet, wriggly, poo-covered baby out of the tub long enough to drain and refill.

I thought, "My baby is almost 4 months old and she's never pooped in the tub! She must be a genius because she knows that the tub is not the place for that. It'll be so easy to potty-train - let's start next month!"

Boy, was I wrong...

When I shower, I put Brylie in her little blue tub in the bathtub with me. She loves it. Today, I was just showering away when I heard a loud toot. I looked down, and sure enough, there were bubbles and everything. I looked proudly at my daughter and said exactly what you could expect her daddy to say to her in moments like these... "Good one!"

But what came next was not so good. Before I knew it, she was sitting in a 3 gallon tub of poop.
My first reaction was to drain her tub and refill it - but then I thought, "I'll just get it all over me." Plus, she was still working on it, so I didn't want to jump the gun and have to start the whole process over again.

Once I got out of the shower, I turned around to view the final damage - it was not pretty. So, I drained her tub, refilled it, pulled her out (in the process of all this) and held her under the faucet so that I could put a semi-clean baby back in her tub. It worked, but as the tub was draining, I noticed the water wasn't going down the drain.

"NO!!! Standing water is bad enough but poo-filled standing water!"

Just a shampoo label stuck over the drain....whew!



Later on, she rolled over for the first time.

Maybe she is a prodigy.