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One year ago today, I experienced more emotions than I ever knew existed (and more pain than I ever knew existed):

Excitement the night before (I couldn't even sleep!)
Anticipation as I checked to make sure the nursery was just perfect for her.
Nervousness when I climbed up into the hospital bed.
Exhaustion after six hours of contractions.

Relief (I spell it e-p-i-d-u-r-a-l)

Fear when I was told her heart rate wasn't good.

Panic as the nurse hurried out the door to get the doctor.

Anxiety as the doctor rushed in to deliver her.
Absolute joy when I heard, "Here she is, Mari!"
Peace when I finally had her in my arms.

And it was all worth it.

Bitty Girl,

Sometimes after Daddy and I get in bed, we just lay there and talk about all of the things that we love about you. We talk about how beautiful your tiny face is, how cute your long eyelashes are, and how proud we are of your 3 1/2 teeth. We're so proud of how smart you are when you "love your babies," call us "mama" and "dada," or put toys in your baby stroller to push around the house. You learn so much every day and it just amazes us.

I love every moment I get to spend with you. In the mornings when you wake up and Daddy goes to get you, I can't wait for him to come back with you in his arms. You love to snuggle between us and go back to sleep for a little while longer. My favorite moment of the day is when I wake up and see your little face on my pillow next to me. I'll kiss your cheeks and whisper how much I love you until your big, blue eyes open and you smile at me. I love how you greet every morning as if it's the day you've been waiting for all your life. It's the most breathtaking sight I've ever seen - better than the most beautiful sunset.

I love you more than you will ever know. I'm so blessed that God has chosen to let me be your mommy. I know it's a big job since God has some huge plans for your life, but I promise to be the best mommy I can be. I will always put your needs first and love you unconditionally. I will do my best to never take you for granted, but to thank God for you daily. I will try very hard to discipline you out of love, never anger, and to teach you how to respect others. I will show you how to be compassionate. I promise to teach you all about Jesus. I will show you how to seek out God in his creation. I will try to be the kind of woman that you would want to be someday.

I love you, my sweet girl.

Mommy