Life is Beautiful

one whole year.

2011-08-05T00:51:00.000-05:00

i can't believe it's been a year since josiah (rather abruptly) entered this world.

and as much as i want my babies to stay little forever, i sure love an excuse to throw a party!

happy 1st birthday, josiah!

so we deviated a little from the "milk" theme here…it was 105 degrees, after all.

lots and LOTS of cookies

post-cupcake

brylie and ellie

brylie and adisynne

(i think these two spent far too much time at the cookie table)

(have i mentioned how much i LOVE that these girls
and their families surprised us by driving in for the party??
it was the greatest thing ever.)

all the cool kids wear cloth

happy birthday, jojo!

10 minutes...in a field...with a camera

2011-05-10T11:48:00.000-05:00

...can really pay off!

the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad bathroom gets a makeover!

2011-05-04T01:40:00.000-05:00

before

do we wonder why Brylie developed a fear of jungle animals when we moved here?

this poor wall had been painted and wallpapered more times than any wall deserves.

are you ready?!

ta-da!

(notice the brand, spankin' new tile floor? that's right, my husband's the stud that did that)

why do i love having a girl?

2011-04-19T23:46:00.003-05:00

Experimenting!

We ended up going with a pony tail today,

but, hey, now we know what

old-school rag rollers to do fine, 3-year-old hair. Yikes.

naughty or nice?

2009-12-14T02:28:00.001-06:00

We'll see what the "big guy" says...

Brylie's message from Santa

two firsts

2009-12-04T02:07:00.009-06:00

first #1 - a busted lip. it wasn't really too very traumatic, but the picture was worth sharing.

first #2 - a haircut. let's face it, it was about time. i just couldn't stand the thought of cutting off the ends because that's the hair she was born with. but, she was looking like a mullet-y ragamuffin, so it was time.

here we go...!

i told her i was going to cut it all off - she wasn't too thrilled about that, as you can see

as a matter of fact, i do know that there is almost no hair on that towel. baby steps...

who could this be?

2009-12-03T00:45:00.003-06:00

brandon found this picture today and insists it looks like the 25-year-old version of a certain 4-year-old redheaded boy who shall remain nameless.... hehe.

one man's trash...

2009-12-02T15:51:00.004-06:00

So I was walking through Salvation Army, looking for something to wear to a "tacky Christmas sweater" party, when I spotted this little beauty:

Four dollars! It's fantastically vintage...it even smells vintage. (interpret that however you like).

the best 100th post ever.

2009-11-10T01:55:00.009-06:00

I've been waiting for something really amazing to happen that was worthy of breaking my blogging hiatus.

And that something took place tonight.

After Chi Alpha, several of us went to Rosa's. We're sitting there, eating and chatting, when Heath asks, "Hey, is that lady behind me falling asleep?"

I looked over Heath and Ashlee's shoulders to see what lady he was talking about. Sure enough, two booths behind them was a girl with two young kids...and she was falling asleep while eating! After a few minutes of scoping out the situation, I realized that there was no way this girl could drive her kids home - she was literally dozing off every 30 seconds. I also realized that God was being pretty insistent that I go over there. I said a quick prayer that He would help her be open to my offer of driving her home, and I started over there.

It's funny how the Spirit takes over control of your body when you're reluctant to obey. I was pretty nervous that she was going to stick me with her fork and tell me to mind my own business.

As I started walking over, I noticed that she was falling asleep again; but she woke up as I slid into the booth across from her.

"Are you ok?" I asked. "You seem kind of tired."

She replied that she was ok, and that she had been working since 7 that morning and was just very tired. As the conversation went on, she dozed several more times, and after about 10 minutes of talking we really had had the same conversation 5 times. I knew she was on something, but she wouldn't tell me what. "Something for anxiety," she said. I told her that she just seemed tired, and I wondered if she would let me drive her home. Her six-year-old daughter started pleading with her, "Mommy, please let her drive us home! Please, Mommy!"

My heart was breaking. But, the girl insisted that she was ok to drive. She said, "I'm embarrassed - I don't even know you! I don't want to be rude, but I don't need any help."

I finally accepted that that was her answer and gave her beautiful kids one last smile as I got out of the booth. "Be safe, okay?"

I walked back to our table, feeling defeated, and praying that God would protect that family on their drive home. We sat, ate, and talked for a little while longer - and I could feel the girl's eyes on me the whole time.

About 15 minutes later, I noticed they were standing up and getting ready to leave. The girl motioned for me to come back over. I immediately jumped up and started toward her. As I approached, she asked, "Would you just help me get my kids in the car?"

"Of course I will."

I motioned for Heath and Ashlee to walk out there with me. We started heading outside, and the girl just started crying, "I'm so embarrassed! I'm humiliated! How could I let my kids see me this way?" As we talked to her for a while and she admitted that she was at rock bottom, I noticed the dozens of prominent scars on her wrists - there were so many of them. She was right - she really, really was at rock bottom. Heath asked her if she knew Jesus, and she said she did - but we could tell she didn't. After about 30 minutes in the parking lot, I had given her my number twice, and she had promised to call me soon. We said goodbye and started walking back to our cars.

As I was opening my door, she got my attention and motioned for me to come back over there. I started running back over to her car, and I noticed she was crying. "I'm ready," she cried. "I'm ready to be a good mom. I'm ready to try something new. I'm so tired of my kids seeing me this way."

I asked, "Well, are you thinking it's time to give Jesus a chance?"

She said she thought she was but that she needed to talk to me some more about it, and asked if I could come over to her apartment. I hesitated at first, because I knew she was not psychologically in a good place, and she had just told me about all of her jailed exes and friends on meth; but I thought, "I'm just going to have to trust the Lord - because this chick is ready!"

I agreed to follow her to her apartment (Heath inconspicuously followed us so he would at least know where I was - and I texted Brandon the address). We arrived, and I helped her daughter carry her backpack and books inside. The girl warned me, "It's so messy and I'm embarrassed to have you here. I work so much and I never have time to clean."

Let me tell you, if I wasn't scared of the shadiness of the apartment complex, the size of the roaches would have done it. The place was filthy. My heart broke for her because I know how hard it is to keep a house clean when you only have one baby and a husband that helps immensely - I can't imagine two babies and no husband!

I sat down and started talking to the daughter about school while her mom was trying to get the baby ready for bed. She told me, "I like you. I'm glad you came over tonight. My mommy has been acting weird for 2 days and I was so scared of what was happening to her tonight." I asked her, "Do you think you can help your mommy get your brother ready for bed so I can talk to her?" She jumped up excitedly and did exactly as I asked... and even went straight to sleep (which her mom said never happens).

I started walking through the living room, thinking about how I was going to get past this girl's huge emotional walls - how was I going to get her to trust me when no one else in her life has ever been trustworthy? My eyes fell on the sink piled with dirty dishes, and I immediately knew how to break down the barriers. This girl needed to experience love with no strings attached. I turned on the hot water, picked up the brush and got to work.

She was mortified when she walked back in and realized that I was doing her dishes, but she eventually conceded and even joined me. So I washed, she dried, and we talked. And when the kitchen was done, we moved onto the living room....and then her daughter's room...and then the dining room...

And the whole time, we talked and cried. And chipped away at those emotional walls. Sometimes we even sledge-hammered them.

When the apartment was as clean as would could possibly make it, we sat down, I took a deep breath and whispered one last quick prayer.

"So...you want something different. You want to be a good mom. You want to break free from those bad relationships, and the depression, anxiety, and pills."

"More than anything," she replied.

"You need Jesus."

"...I know..."

There was a long pause as I tried to read her facial expressions.

"Are you ready?"

"......yes."

So, we prayed together. She asked Jesus to become her source of life, to save her, to help her be a good mom, to help her break free from her depression, anxiety, pills, and bad relationships.

We cried...

Oh, how we cried.

And for the first time in the 4 hours I had known her, she laughed!

I hadn't realized before then that she had never once smiled during our time together; but now, she was laughing!

"Wow," I thought. "That was a quick!"

I told her that things would be different - that they already were different, but that she was going to have to make the decision every day to live for God.

She said, "Now that I have a real friend who actually cares about me, I think I can do that."
(I cried at this, of course).

As I got up to leave, we made plans to meet later this week, and she asked about church, Chi Alpha, and life groups. Then, she hugged me. That may not sound too amazing in and of itself, but 4 hours earlier, she wouldn't even tell me her name. She freaked out that I texted Brandon her address. She literally trusted no one.

And I got a hug :)

Oh, Jesus...THANK YOU...thank you for letting me be a small part of this tonight. For speaking so strongly at Rosa's that I physically couldn't keep myself from walking over to her. Thank you for bringing us together under odd, unconventional circumstances. Thank you for saving her! Thank you for seeing her tears, hearing her heart, and loving her so much. I'm overwhelmed by your goodness. I'm overwhelmed that you chose to use me tonight.

What an incredible night.
I love you with every ounce of my being.

Oh, how He loves us.

schooooool's out for the summer!

2009-05-12T17:13:00.002-05:00

(I just looked up that song and realized two interesting things: #1 - it was written by alice cooper - yikes; and #2 - it was written 13 years before i was born) where in the world have i heard it? strange.

back to the point:

school, and subsequently, my job as a GA, are over! yay!

Thank you, Jesus, for getting me through this semester in one piece.

And the best part of all, my husband kicked some serious booty in his classes.
beauty AND brains!

.....Hawaii, here we come!

someone call a wahhh-mbulance

2009-05-09T02:37:00.004-05:00

I really, really, really need a vacation.

Really.

I think that TLC show about world's worst jobs might even do a segment on me if I called them up.

*sigh*

6 more days...

flashbacks from freshman year

2009-05-05T04:16:00.002-05:00

Tonight marks my 3rd all-nighter in the past week.

It's not that I'm procrastinating...really!

It's just that an incredibly large amount of work has been given to me to be completed in an incredibly short amount of time, and the only hours in the day available to work on it are those between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

This kind of thing was no big deal five years ago - I could go all day off of 3 hours of sleep on a regular basis. But, of course, that was freshman year, pre-marriage, pre-baby, pre-....being an old lady.

One thing, though, there's something awfully peaceful about being awake at 4:24 a.m. I'm in that stage of sheer exhaustion where emotions are so close to the surface, and it's just quiet enough to hear every little whisper from the Spirit. I understand now why David wrote about worshiping in the middle of the night. When the world is asleep, I have Him all to myself.

what I hate about being a mommy

2009-04-21T22:31:00.002-05:00

...not being able to watch "kid" movies without finding every little stinkin' thing in them that is...uh...inappropriate for kids.

Why do they have to put those things in there? Seriously, Madagascar 2, are the witch doctors and volcano sacrifices and "how in the hello are we going to get out of here?" really necessary?

To you, they're cute and innocent; but mommies and daddies are the ones who are stuck explaining the concept of "sacrificing a virgin to the volcano gods" to a little kid.

Ugh.

I'm not ready to fight the "why can't I see that movie?" battle....
Hopefully I have another few years.

Tommy's Proposal/BBQ

2009-04-19T02:00:00.005-05:00

Enough fun for one day...

Congrats Tommy and Jessie!

in its purest form

2009-04-05T22:53:00.006-05:00

They brought the donkey and the colt, placed their cloaks on them, and Jesus sat on them.

A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches

from the trees and spread them on the road.

The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

"Hosanna to the Son of David!"

"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!"

"Hosanna in the highest!"

Brandon and I visited Oak Hills Church in San Antonio this morning. We had never been to a church that large before, but we've been reading Max Lucado's books for several years, and had heard that he was an amazing speaker, so we were curious.

I've had a really big change of heart in the last few years when it comes to different kinds of churches - moving from "this isn't what I'm used to - that's not worship" to "wow - praise God for excitement and variety among His people!"

It's been very liberating to say the least.

So this morning, as the band began playing Hosanna (one of my favorites), and people started taking their seats, I noticed some commotion coming up the aisles. Seventy-five little kids making their way up to the stage. They all pulled out palm leaves and began waving them wildly in the air.

As all of these 4 and 5 year olds got up to their places, the palm leaves waved a little more wildly and the sound of these sweet voices shouting "Hosanna!" filled the room.

"Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest!"

One hundred and fifty little hands reached toward the sky, smiles on every face, and praises to their Lord pouring from their lips.

I leaned over to whisper to Brandon, "This is the purest, most beautiful worship I have ever witnessed," but I couldn't get the words out without getting choked up.

Whenever I see something that praises the Lord so beautifully, with such innocence, it reminds me of the character of God. Not the character that we assign to him or want him to have - but who he is and was before mankind even existed. Sometimes I get so caught up in who I want him to be, that I forget he was before I was. It sounds like such a simple concept, but I forget it so easily.

He deserves my worship. Not just when I feel like it - all the time. It is my purpose.

Those little kids up there weren't concerned about a paper that they had to finish writing, or a bill that had to be paid...they were concerned with only one thing - their purpose. And you could see it on their faces and hear it in their sweet voices.

On the way home this evening, Brandon and I marveled at the breathtaking sunset that lay before us. Hot pink and purple - incredible. I heard Brandon whisper, "Wow ... thank you, God."

And that's just it. Creation declares the glory of the Lord.

Sunsets... flowers... mountains... little kids waving palm leaves in the air...

They declare his glory in the purest, most innocent way. Because sometimes I forget to.

Thank you, my Lord, for being who you are...for never changing...for deserving to be worshipped even when my praise seems so insufficient. Thank you for opening my eyes to true worship - in its purest form.

check out the talent (not mine, of course)

2009-04-01T22:18:00.005-06:00

So, my sis-in-law discovered a very useful

(and lucrative) hidden talent!

This is the one I'm getting - I love it!

She's selling them for $12, so if you're interested, I'll pass on the word.

(An etsy store may be in the near future).

my moody blog

2009-04-01T16:05:00.002-06:00

my blog hates change.

everytime I change a layout or add a gadget, it just stops working. as of right now, I can't click on the links on my blog roll.

If my blog were a person, it would be that girl that you have to walk on eggshells around. You know, that one that changes moods so frequently and unexpectedly that you never know what you're allowed to say around her.

So, any suggestions?

thank goodness for friends with cameras

2009-03-27T23:48:00.002-06:00

I know it's not the best quality, but when your camera is broken (again), it's much appreciated.

clutter

2009-03-26T14:43:00.004-06:00

i can't even develop one coherent thought, so here are a bunch of half-coherent ones:

- while having a rather important conversation with a professor the other day (the same professor that Brylie tried to expose me to), i realize i have nutragrain bar in my hair. i tried to get it out inconspicuously, but he said, "you can just get it out, you know."

- i'm tired of buying diapers. we have 3 left - is 14 months too early to pottytrain?

- i had an awesome workout today; it really set the pace for my whole day. maybe i'm turning over a new leaf. but hold your applause, this was only day 2.

- i found an empty gallon milk jug in the potty today....and a nutragrain bar.

- the defiance has begun, therefore, the spankings have begun... you know, it really does hurt mommy and daddy more than it hurts the kid.

- possible april fool's day joke: telling brandon i'm pregnant. good idea? bad idea?
eh, better not. he'd probably be really excited.

- i had a "fancy sandwich" tonight, and it was just about the best thing ever. brandon invented them back when we were dating; it's whole wheat bread, turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato, avocado, sprouts, and pickle. A-mazing. they're "fancy" because they make us feel rich. . . it must be the sprouts.

my 3-month struggle

2009-03-22T23:35:00.004-06:00

That's right - it's still going on.

but I think I may have figured out how to get out of school alive...

if I switch to the shorter program, I can graduate in december, and have my life back.

however, I won't be able to sit for the LPC exam. meaning, less marketable.

BUT, much happier.
AND, I won't have to do 2-3 years of internships.

so it comes to this (and we'll just list the pros):

shorter program = more time with the family, more time with the ministry, the removal of 3-4 years of school/interships, still having an MS when it's all said and done, and significantly less chances of going berserk and shaving my head.

longer program = waaaay more marketable, more respectable program

Looks pretty obvious to me. 5 to 2.

Why do I need so much affirmation?! Just do it, already!

shamu, schmamu

2009-03-08T23:50:00.007-06:00

Just for grins, I thought I'd check to see how much SeaWorld tickets are.

$46.99 for a kid's ticket?! $54.99 for an adult ticket?!?!

I could (very strategically) feed my family for a week for $50! And that's what they charge you to come look at an old whale? No offense, Shamu...but come on, we all know you're not even the original.

The Original

Faker #22

(Like I had nothing better to do than to research how many Shamus there have been.

I'm putting off homework, ok?)

I'm starting to see a trend among businesses: 3 years old is the magical age when a child becomes a paying customer.

That means we've got 1 year and 10 months left of paying for family fun. Then, we get our kicks from throwing cold water on Daddy while he's in the shower. : )

Good parents teach their kids how to do this...

2009-03-05T18:31:00.002-06:00

Shake it!

my bare, naked soul

2009-03-05T01:27:00.004-06:00

i've been thinking...

how exactly would life be different (aka: better) if i dropped out of school?

not having to be someone's grad assistant, write papers, take tests, give assessments, sit through 3 hour classes, pay exhorbitant amounts of money for books, etc.

and this, my friends, is my deepest, darkest fantasy.

sad, I know.

stuff.

2009-03-04T01:43:00.003-06:00

I'm having a random, scattered day.

- Does anyone know of a good dentist? I need one of those.

- Grocery shopping isn't as fun as it used to be. I tend to just put things back on the shelves if they aren't appropriate for a one-year-old with only 4 teeth.

- I've lost 8 pounds. Normally, I would be happy about something like this, but Brandon says I don't look any different... I'd rather look skinnier and not have lost any weight than have lost weight and look the same.

- I'm overwhelmed with the hankerin' to pack up and go somewhere exotic. Europe, maybe. New York...Fiji? I'll start saving up.

- Brylie tried to help herself to some milk while we were in my professor's office yesterday. Awk--ward.

- People are starting to ask me when I'm going to get pregnant again...

no comment.

jesse to the rescue.

2009-02-18T12:15:00.002-06:00

My new hero is a Sprint operator named Jesse.

After 8 months of bills being payed but not received, late fees threatening to take us for all we're worth (which is not much by now, thanks to them), one report to the Better Business Bureau, and the frustration of not being able to get out of our contract...
this might be all behind us.

Funny how I can spend 2 hours a week, every week since July, talking to 10 different people who don't seem to have access to what they need to solve the problems.

And then there's Jesse. Sweet, helpful, English-speaking Jesse.

It took 5 minutes - and all my troubles vanished.

Please, Lord, let them have vanished.

and the award for 'world's best parents' goes to...

2009-02-13T00:18:00.003-06:00

does it get any sweeter than this?

2009-02-12T00:29:00.008-06:00

sure does!

those people.

2009-02-09T02:47:00.003-06:00

you know who I'm talking about.

the ones at the restaurant table next to yours who are perfectly capable of having a conversation, all the while, not noticing and/or caring that their child is screaming uncontrollably beside them; subsequently, ruining your dinner and the dinners of everyone else around them.

as of tonight, I am those people.

and even though I've already developed the "parental selective hearing" that enables me to drown out the random, pointless screams, I do care about your dinner.

and I'm sorry.

so that I can remember these things later...

2009-02-06T00:55:00.000-06:00

There's lots of cuteness going on in my house right now.

When Brylie does the "sad face," she anticipates our laughter too quickly. So we end up getting 1/2 second of a sad face followed by clapping, and a huge, mischievous grin.

She's discovered the concept of putting on a hat, so now every new thing encountered must first go on the head.

We're watching Mrs. Doubtfire the other day, and "Dude Looks Like a Lady" came on. Brylie runs in the living room wearing mismatched pajamas and begins dancing around wildly to the song about a crossdressing man.

She's good at shaking her head "no," but if she tries to nod "yes," she loses her balance and falls over.

I asked her if she wanted to get out of the bathtub. She reached up toward me, but when I started reaching down, she pulled her hands down to her sides really fast. Then, she laughed hysterically as if she made up the idea of a "fake out."

I opened up the toilet seat lid the other day, and in the toilet I found a dvd and a stuffed dog...

I asked her if she wanted to brush her teeth. She ran to the bathroom, yelling, "Ahhhhhhh.....!"

I know. Cute.

just a hint.

2009-02-02T23:39:00.001-06:00

if you're wanting to run a google image search to find pretty pictures, don't type in the words "pretty graphic."

just don't.

my bad.

2009-02-01T23:34:00.002-06:00

maybe I should check to make sure the link works before I hit "submit."

Rest

2009-01-30T01:46:00.003-06:00

I've got a new top 5 song. Maybe even top 3.

It's one of those "turn the lights off, light a candle, lay flat on your face and worship, lose track of time" kinda songs.

Click here to listen.

"Rest"

Still, soft quietly spoken voice
That persistenly calls my name
And quickens my heart to come
And I come

And I rest in the shelter of Your love
And I rest in the wonder of Your Grace
And I rest in the shelter of Your love
And I rest in the wonder of You

Embraced in the promise of You
Is rest for the weary soul
Releasing all that is mine I reach for You

Take all the old and You make it new
Everything I give to You
You're the hope that can pull me through
Hallelujah

mmm. So good.

slapped by the Spirit (in a nice way)

2009-01-28T16:33:00.003-06:00

Alright, here's where I am now:

I have long since agreed with the Big Guy that my purpose is to be available for anything at anytime - Great Commission kinda stuff, right? I would be thrilled if I could just walk around campus all day long talking to random kids about the love of Christ. Unfortunately, very few people can support their families on the income that comes from that kind of a job. But, I know that whatever I'm doing, I'll have opportunities every day to talk to people about this - after all, this is what I'm called for.
So, I've come to the conclusion that God has given me these desires for a reason - and I should stay in school and not worry about future things. And if I make $30,000 for the rest of my life and never get my student loans payed off, whatever. Those things don't even matter. Salvations matter.

So that's where I'm at (that's right, I ended a sentence with "at").

Sorry for whining yesterday. Mostly I just wanted to get that post off my blog.

whine and cheese

2009-01-28T00:00:00.004-06:00

Have you ever felt like everything you were working so hard for was, really, for nothing?

I have.

I've spent the last 10 years of my life knowing that I wanted to be a counselor, and in one week, my vocational counseling professor has me convinced that that's not at all what I want to do.

Basically, here's what I've found out:

Moderately Successful LPC Practice
Income:
$75,000

Expenses:
$7,000 - malpractice insurance
$6,300 - office rent
$3,000 - utilities
$26,000 - secretary
$2,000 - legal counsel
$2,200 - assessment fees

That leaves me with a grand total of $31,200.
To live on.
With a master's degree and licensure in professional counseling.
And student loans.
And bringing my clients' problems home with me.

Making $5,000 more than my secretary.

I know it's not all about the money, but it can be a little bit about the money...right?

Thanks!

2009-01-24T22:05:00.001-06:00

Thank you everyone for making Brylie and Casen's first birthday so special!

1

2009-01-15T22:14:00.018-06:00

One year ago today, I experienced more emotions than I ever knew existed (and more pain than I ever knew existed):

Excitement the night before (I couldn't even sleep!)
Anticipation as I checked to make sure the nursery was just perfect for her.
Nervousness when I climbed up into the hospital bed.
Exhaustion after six hours of contractions.

Relief (I spell it e-p-i-d-u-r-a-l)

Fear when I was told her heart rate wasn't good.

Panic as the nurse hurried out the door to get the doctor.

Anxiety as the doctor rushed in to deliver her.
Absolute joy when I heard, "Here she is, Mari!"
Peace when I finally had her in my arms.

And it was all worth it.

Bitty Girl,

Sometimes after Daddy and I get in bed, we just lay there and talk about all of the things that we love about you. We talk about how beautiful your tiny face is, how cute your long eyelashes are, and how proud we are of your 3 1/2 teeth. We're so proud of how smart you are when you "love your babies," call us "mama" and "dada," or put toys in your baby stroller to push around the house. You learn so much every day and it just amazes us.

I love every moment I get to spend with you. In the mornings when you wake up and Daddy goes to get you, I can't wait for him to come back with you in his arms. You love to snuggle between us and go back to sleep for a little while longer. My favorite moment of the day is when I wake up and see your little face on my pillow next to me. I'll kiss your cheeks and whisper how much I love you until your big, blue eyes open and you smile at me. I love how you greet every morning as if it's the day you've been waiting for all your life. It's the most breathtaking sight I've ever seen - better than the most beautiful sunset.

I love you more than you will ever know. I'm so blessed that God has chosen to let me be your mommy. I know it's a big job since God has some huge plans for your life, but I promise to be the best mommy I can be. I will always put your needs first and love you unconditionally. I will do my best to never take you for granted, but to thank God for you daily. I will try very hard to discipline you out of love, never anger, and to teach you how to respect others. I will show you how to be compassionate. I promise to teach you all about Jesus. I will show you how to seek out God in his creation. I will try to be the kind of woman that you would want to be someday.

I love you, my sweet girl.

Mommy

Wanna know a secret?

2009-01-11T23:34:00.004-06:00

Today is my hunny bunny's 24th birthday.

He doesn't know it, but he's getting a surprise birthday party tomorrow night.

: )

22 days ago...

2009-01-06T23:53:00.002-06:00

I was thinking we could definitely handle being out of town for 3 straight weeks.

I'm so glad we're home now.

During those 3 weeks, we slept in 4 different houses and 1 hotel. We saw 2 sets of grandparents and 1 set of great-grandparents.

San Angelo to Midland: 112.25 miles
Midland to Houston: 556.14
Houston to Dallas: 239.55
Dallas to Indianapolis: 900.16
Indianapolis to Cincinnati: 114.03
Cincinnati to Indianapolis: 114.03
Indianapolis to Chicago: 183.64
Chicago to Dallas: 970.02
Dallas to San Angelo: 272.96
Total: 3462.78

I'm thinking Christmas will be at our house next year.

Round 4

2009-01-05T14:00:00.003-06:00

of Mari vs. Mastitis

Why me, Oh God?!

big, big girl

2008-12-16T22:39:00.003-06:00

11 months ago:

Today:

This kid is now saying, "momma," "dada," "uh oh," "thank you," and "papa"
She:
-nods her head 'yes'
-makes 'sad' faces on command
-dances to music
-claps her hands and waves 'hi'
-loves Elmo, Momma, and Dada (hopefully not in that order)
-thinks she can survive on cheerios
-thinks being naked is just the best ever
-Walks!

Where, oh, where has the time gone?

Third Best Moment of My Life!

2008-12-05T03:41:00.002-06:00

So, what amazing event could have possibly happened at 3:42 a.m.?

Let's just say, I'm a free woman! (and not in the way that Wendy meant it a few months ago!)

My thesis proposal is officially done! After months of research and too many nights of going to bed at 5 a.m., I am now going to rest easy tonight - no random thoughts of "did I include this?" "did I mention that?" "I may never finish this paper..." keeping me up at night.

When I proofread it for the 4th and final time, I hit "save," and jumped up off the couch - the joy was uncontainable! But there was no one to hug or jump around the living room with because the rest of my family goes to bed at a decent hour.
I had to get it out somehow - hence, this blogpost.

Hallelujah!

Have you ever even seen so many exclamation marks?!!

ladies' night - oh what a night

2008-11-18T22:50:00.008-06:00

That's right, girls....

The last time we had one was 2 days before Gray was born. *3 1/2 months ago*

This Friday night, put your babies in bed, kiss your man goodbye, and come on!

There will be coffee and hot chocolate so just bring something to munch on and it'll be a party.

Christal Noland's house

9 p.m.

*please note: coffee will be served, martini's will not. : )

silly daddy

2008-11-17T23:09:00.004-06:00

Brandon and Brylie playing in her room...

Brandon: (singing) "Brylie Baby, baby girl, sweetest girl in the whole wide world. I love you, oh yes I do, sweet little Brylie............um, Mari!!!"

Me: "What?"

Brandon: "What's Brylie's middle name?"

Caught!

2008-11-12T00:24:00.003-06:00

all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go

2008-11-06T02:08:00.005-06:00

Is anyone besides me super-stoked about the retreat?
I honestly can't even concentrate on the mountains of homework and incessant waves of emails that I have to deal with.
How wonderfully peaceful it will be to get to spend a weekend with a bunch of amazing women who just want to get to know their Daddy a little better than before.

Ahhh...

the blog with no agenda

2008-11-03T00:10:00.005-06:00

Our halloween costumes: Lois, Clark, and Princess Brylie

Relaxing after church.

And this was taken today. We were just playing around and she nearly fell off the bed! Daddy saved her life though. He's very good at that. : )

juice - the ultimate evil

2008-11-01T23:33:00.003-06:00

No one warned me.
I had no idea that it could inflict that much damage on sweet, soft, baby booty skin.
She seriously looks like she's got 3rd degree burns on her hiney. Or a disease that should be on a poster at Planned Parenthood.
All this for 3 oz. of watered-down pear juice?

crazy.

I've tried Desitin, Balmex, Nystatin, and Boudreaux's Butt Paste. I've even tried the old "air it out" trick and just ended up with pee all over our rug.

So, please help. Any suggestions?

boobie blues

2008-10-31T01:04:00.002-06:00

Let me start by saying, no one is forcing you to read this. If you wish to continue on, do so with the knowledge that you had your chance, the "back" button is right up there on your screen.

Here goes:

I have mastitis. Again.

I don't know how this happens! Everything I read says that "between 1-3% of nursing mothers experience mastitis, typically within the first 2-6 weeks of their child's life."

Well, my kid is 9 months old and I've fallen into the "1-3%" three times now.

This time I actually had to go through the "flu-like symptoms" that I was warned would happen if I didn't catch it in time.
So Tuesday morning (my "crazy, jam-packed schedule" day of the week), I woke up feeling horrible. I'm pretty much never sick - I can't afford to be. But I really thought I had the flu. So, I handed Brylie off to her daddy and said, "I'm going back to sleep...indefinitely."
He obliged and whisked her away to a morning of peach puffs and sesame street.
An hour later, I rolled over onto what I realized was a rather sensitive area, and it hit me.
Nooooooo.

So, Brandon had to cancel his day to stay home and be Mr. Mommy/Mommy's nurse.
The only time I managed to drag myself out of the bed all day was to write 3 emails to my profs explaining why I wouldn't be showing up for work/school (without really explaining why - I can just imagine these people discussing my boob issues amongst themselves).
Funny thing is, it took a few hours for me to realize that I didn't HAVE to get up and go to work. Take a day off to moan, groan, and flop around in bed? Never.
But I did it. I wish I could have actually enjoyed my day off, but I guess that's the way it goes.

Two days later, I don't feel "flu-ish" anymore, but I'm still sore. So that means the issue hasn't resolved itself yet. I've read that if it doesn't, they'll have to go in and take care of it...

but I guess two good things have come of this:
when I finally emerged from the bedroom, gas had dropped 10 more cents
and
I didn't change a single diaper all day long : )

brace yourselves

2008-10-27T23:42:00.002-06:00

The "twelve days of Christmas" lights are already set up by the river.

Dillards has exquistely decorated trees up for all to see.

Our heater is on.

These are all signs...
It's coming, people.

i've come to a conclusion...

2008-10-24T11:44:00.002-05:00

Having a husband that does housework is way more important than making sure my clothes don't shrink in the dryer.

compliments of Dr. S

2008-10-20T22:02:00.005-05:00

Since she's originally from India, she sometimes forgets her English words or uses the wrong one entirely.
Tonight she was telling us about counseling in a prison setting. She said, "Now when you sit down to evaluate a primate... wait, that's not right. What do you call a person in prison?"

We all had a good laugh about that, and then she told us about a time right after she moved to America. She said it had rained really hard and the pond in her backyard flooded. There were slugs everywhere.
She started yelling for her husband, "Charlie! Come here, there are sluts everywhere! Oh my goodness, there are so many sluts! Charlie, get these horrible, disgusting sluts out of my yard!"
Her husband (who is American) ran outside and said, "Sangeeta, you're using the wrong word, quiet down or the neighbors will hear you!"

: )
Hope that brightened your day.

welcome to my pity party

2008-10-19T01:46:00.004-05:00

I am stressed out.
I don't even know how I found time for this. Maybe because it's 2 a.m. and I'm about to wrap up the homework and work for the night. Maybe this is my therapy. Either way, I'm in need of something. An intervention.

I've just about lost it twice today and I feel another bout coming on. Not over anything too serious: school, hurt feelings, and Sprint's wrongful depletion of our savings account.
I have way too much on my plate. I'm not man enough to drop any responsibilities, but at least I'm no longer in denial. The problem is, I care very much about every commitment I've made.

Being stressed makes me feel like I'm in serious need of some alone time with Him.
I know I am.

I need peace. I need refreshment. I need to have no responsibilities.
Surely the world can do without me for one day.

The Magic Shoppe

2008-10-15T00:06:00.002-05:00

So in my Group Counseling class, we've been learning about different ways to conduct group therapy sessions. This last technique was Psychotherapy, or more specifically, Psychodrama.
(I promise this story gets better, hang with me).

One particular method within the category of Psychodrama is called "The Magic Shoppe." I don't know why it's spelled with a "pe" instead of with a "p" - maybe we're trying to class it up a bit.
Anyway, the way it works is there are 30 different positive personality traits to choose from. The group members can pick any one of those that they wish they had and trade in a negative one in exchange for it. For the next week, they use the positive trait and not the negative trait.
The theory behind it is, they will see how much better life is with the positive one and without the negative one and try to continue living that way.

Can you guess what I chose? Remember, I'm the girl who has the Nike Plus wristband, the shoes, and the desire to run, but for some reason can't get my tired booty out of bed at 6 a.m. to actually run.
I chose "will power."
And I gave up "my desire to please everyone by taking on a million and one things that I don't possibly have the time to do."
So this is yet another effort to get myself movin'.

Yikes...accountability.
If this doesn't work, I don't know what will.

pacifier drama

2008-10-13T23:08:00.002-05:00

Nevermind the fact that Brylie has wanted nothing to do with her pacifier for the last 8 1/2 months. The teeth are hurting and now she wants it.
We went out of town for the weekend and took along 1 paci. Big mistake. 1 pacifier? What was I thinking?
Just 3 hours into the trip, we left the pacifier at Cracker Barrel. Once in Medina (middle of nowhere), we realized what had happened and stopped at a gas station. Nothing. They've got 3 kinds of formula, cereal, juice, bottles, diapers, baby shampoo, baby lotion, and baby powder...but no pacifiers.
The next morning (after an all night scream-fest), we went into Bandera to the Super S to continue our search for the ever-so-elusive pacifier. They had some Nuk paci's. Brylie's never had that kind before, but we were desperate. And of course...she wanted nothing to do with them.
Later that night in a desperate attempt to get some sleep, Brandon and I put our plastic church camp mattresses on the floor, Brylie between us, and I became the human pacifier for the night.
...and Brylie had to switch sides every hour...on the hour.

But, we made it back and are slowly, but surely, getting caught back up on sleep.

And remember that pacifier that I thought we had lost at Cracker Barrel? I found it in my purse this morning.

to sum up our lives..

2008-10-09T21:26:00.006-05:00

What we think of that Sprint bill:

Vogue-ing:

Proof Brylie has hair:

Brylie discovers the camera...

another little gem from dr. s

2008-10-06T15:45:00.002-05:00

This morning I had to take Brylie to school with me while I worked.
When I went into Dr. S's office, Brylie had her pacifier in her mouth and Dr. S said, (in a thick Indian accent) "Oh, you have nipple in your mouth! You take it out so I can see pretty face?"

Later...
I stopped by her class to grab something, she sees me, and says, "Come in! Come in! Let the class see pretty baby!"

As I'm walking up to the front to show everyone 'pretty baby,' I hear...
"Earlier she had her nipple in her mouth, so I couldn't see her face. But Mommy took nipple out and I see she's so beautiful!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did she really just say that to 40 eighteen-year-olds?

Oh. My. Word.
Now all these kids think I just walk around the psych department with my shirt off.
Fantastic.

Well, maybe enrollment will go up...

poor, pathetic little me

2008-10-06T00:34:00.003-05:00

The other day, I got a voicemail from an old friend who said she missed talking to me, wanted to catch up, and asked me to call her back.

When I did, she revealed her true purpose:
she just started her new Mary Kay business.

poor, pathetic little me.

I thought she wanted to be my friend...

: )

why is it...?

2008-10-03T00:09:00.002-05:00

Why is it, that when you have so much to do that you don't even know where to start, you just don't?

I am so on the ball.

23

2008-09-27T02:19:00.004-05:00

I am 2 hours and twenty minutes into my 23rd year of life. Or is it the beginning of my 24th...? Anyway, don't ask what I'm doing up this late. It's a mixture of work and homework that just won't seem to end.

But, here's a run-down of the last 3 hours:

11:30 p.m. - Brandon disappears out the front door with his guitar.

11:55 p.m. - I look at the clock, realize that I'm 5 minutes away from the one day a year that I can do whatever I want, and proceed into the kitchen to prepare for the occasion.

11:58 p.m. - I emerge from the kitchen with a 1/2 gallon of blue bell 'cookies and cream' ice cream and a quart of 'cherry vanilla' ice cream. Oh yes.

12:03 a.m. - ok, that's enough ice cream.

12:10 a.m. - Brandon busts in the door and (Gus-Gus-from-Cinderella style) says, "du-du-du HAP-py BIRT-day!"

12:12 a.m. - he sings me the song he was writing for me when he was outside.

That, plus Ichiban's tomorrow ... not too shabby.
Not too shabby at all.

the new dress code

2008-09-22T23:49:00.007-05:00

So, tonight, I'm in my Group Counseling class. Since class is 3 hours long, that gives Dr. S a good...oh...2 hours of time to ramble before we have to actually get down to business.
(yes, I have calculated how much money I'm wasting on this education...)

She spent all two hours of that tonight talking about a religious meeting she went to where she was asked to speak on Hinduism and Sikhism. She's a Christian now, but since she was raised in India, she knows all about those religions.

She knows I'm a Christian - we've actually spent a lot of time in her office talking about our faith.

She also is very outspoken and doesn't always think things through before she says them.

I say all that to get to this...

Tonight, I was just minding my own business, not doing anyone any harm, when I hear her say,
"Mari is very, very spiritual. She doesn't look it....but she is!"

Everyone's falling out of their chairs and laughing, while Dr. S is trying to figure out what she said that is so funny. She may have been in America for 30 years, but she still has a lot to learn.

So, yeah, if anyone's got some spare "nun clothes" lying around, can I borrow them? It's time I start dressing a little more spiritual.

fyi: I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt...not a string bikini.

where, oh where, have I been?

2008-09-22T00:42:00.003-05:00

Underneath my name on seph's blog, it said "two weeks ago." I swore that would never happen, but moving, school, work, and a certain cable/internet company dragging their heels about switching service over caused it to most certainly happen. But now, I'm back.

So....the last two weeks....

We moved. I hate moving. We're probably staying in this house forever. Here's my equation for happiness....
Brandon, me, Brylie, and however many more kids God gives us + two bedroom house - moving ever again = bliss.
________________________________________________
I fell for the old gig again. "Mrs. Sykes, when we switch your internet/cable services over to your new house, for just $10 more a month, you can get 50 more channels and HBO!"
Wow! Just $10?! Sign me up!
So the guy comes out to install it...and hands me a bill for $250.
Uhhh...no. So, before he left, we had figured out a way to get it down to $55.
Do I look stupid? I must look stupid. Why do these companies keep trying to take advantage of me? Someone needs to warn these companies that I've had enough. The next one that tries this mess might get an earfull.
_________________________________________________
I haven't been running.
: (
_________________________________________________
The good news!
Brylie's heart is perfect. The cardiologist said there was no murmur and no reason to ever think there was a problem.
So, to answer your question: yes, I'm still thinking of switching pediatricians.

Out of the Silence, God can Roar

2008-09-07T16:25:00.003-05:00

Today's lesson on healing was not one I'll soon forget. When David started talking about Duane Miller, the preacher from Houston that was healed during a taped sermon, I thought, "Oh man, I would love to hear that!" So, you can imagine my excitement when he said, "Can you start that audio?"

So, in case you weren't there today, here's the story: Basically, this preacher (and apparently an amazing one, at that) was diagnosed with a virus that affected the nerve endings in his vocal cords. Supposedly, doctors say he should have ended up mute.

Well, he couldn't preach anymore because his voice was little more than a hoarse whisper, so he just started teaching smalll classes on Sunday nights (using a very powerful microphone). He went on this way for about 3 years.

Then, one day, God worked a miracle.

Go to http://www.nuvoice.org/ and click "The Moment" on the bottom left of the page. Pay attention to the words he was saying as it happens...

Isn't that powerful?! And to get to be witnesses to this. . . just amazing.

I glanced at Brandon out of the corner of my eye and I could see tears streaming down his face. Then mine started. God is so, so good.

"Out of despair, God can bring joy.

Out of doubt, God can reveal truth.

Out of trial, God can bring peace.

Out of pain, God can bring healing.

Out of silence, God can roar."

From Out of the Silence, by Duane Miller

my little boy

2008-09-06T23:31:00.002-05:00

the "i am not a boy!" onesie has been put to the test...
and failed miserably.

So we're sitting at sunset grill today. Brylie is on Brandon's lap and an old man (of course) walks up and says

"Hi little guy!"

cue the dropping jaws

"Oh, I just need to take him home with me"

is this guy serious?!

"You wanna come home with me, boy?"

Brandon holds her arms up just to make sure her onesie is readable

"He is just the sweetest little baby"

yes, the pink and glitter letters are completely visible

"What a cute little guy"

Does my baby have a beard or something?

It's ok to tell me. Maybe I'm just blinded by love.

On a lighter note, Brylie had the time of her life at Mug & Muffin this morning at DeLana's.
The minute we walked up, Nanna and Bacamama took over and showed her the time of her life. Everytime I looked over, she was tasting new and exciting things and getting it all over herself!
I'm so glad my baby has so many "grandmothers" that love her : )

did anyone notice...?

2008-09-04T22:26:00.002-05:00

That during McCain's speech tonight, he said...

"If you don't like the way our country is, do something to fix it. Run for office, join the ministry, serve food to a hungry child, teach an illiterate adult to read..."

and then the camera panned to a man holding a sign that read, "McCain is a Mavrick."

Maybe the cameraman is a democrat.

: )

the human race.

2008-09-02T22:31:00.007-05:00

About to start.

Piersol and Hanson from the U.S. men's swim team.

Lance Armstrong (in yellow)

Me and my cute little runner

Brylie with her Pop and Meme.

Sadly, I could never get a picture of Matthew McConaughey. Brandon ran right next to him for a while and said he runs funny. But, apparently it works for him - he didn't do too badly. Brandon's time was something like 50 or 51 minutes. I'm so proud!

walmart really does have everything.

2008-08-29T00:13:00.005-05:00

This is the new onesie I got for Brylie at walmart.

Actually, it's mostly for me.

Because if one more old man asks, "What's his name?" when I'm holding a baby in a pink dress with a pink bow in her hair, I might just implode.

This, is the little gem I found for Brandon:

It was $2. Considerably more than I would ever pay for an average spiral notebook. But this is not your average spiral notebook. Not when Chuck Norris graces the cover.

So, in conclusion, walmart really does have everything you need.

a big fat sigh

2008-08-27T22:32:00.002-05:00

The last week of my life has been incredibly crazy, eventful, and awesome. Here you go:

- Chi Alpha is doing tons on campus right now, and thankfully, we're winding down. Dorm move-ins, hamburger cookout, fajita cookout, 3 on 3 basketball tournament, capture the flag, and the welcome back to campus party. Tomorrow we end the week with Lennon speaking on campus about how to stay christian in college. Monday night we had a record 170 people at Chapter 1! It was so awesome to see all of the hard work paying off. What a blessing.

- I met the prof. that I'm going to be a GA for this semester. She's an older lady from India who has a reputation for being a fireball. I've had her a prof. a few times before and it's been interesting. The classes weren't difficult, but she, personally, was. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward to this semester - it'll be a welcome challenge.
- I might end up just loving her since she's going to let me work at home a lot. I'm sure I will.
How blessed am I to have two very flexible jobs that don't require me to put Brylie in daycare?
Very!

- Speaking of which, Ashley is going to be taking care of Bry for about 6-7 hours a week. I'm stoked. There aren't just a ton of people that I am comfortable leaving her with very often, but Ash is one of them. And, it works that she already loves my baby, lives across the street from the school (where I'll be working), and can use a little extra money.

So, in conclusion, God is good. He's taking care of us and just continually proves his faithfulness.
Thank you, Father.

What a Show Off

2008-08-26T23:33:00.004-05:00

I think I must have the cutest little nephew in the world.

When he gets older, I'm going to give him so much candy...

A Pat on the Back

2008-08-24T23:05:00.003-05:00

Today was such a good day.

A little church, lunch with friends, leadership meeting with some more good friends, and then relaxing at home with my two favorites.
We knew today was going to be the last day that would offer any form of relaxation for a while, so we took advantage of it.
The best part of today though, was the Chi Alpha leadership meeting and here's why:

This time of year is so so busy with all of the things that Chi Alpha does on campus. Every year we get a little better about reaching out to the new freshmen but it takes so much work. We're talking 2 months of planning and 1 week of doing. Full time stuff, here. But it's awesome. The best part is, of course, looking back later and seeing all of the people that are in Chi Alpha (and the Kingdom!) as a result of this crazy week.

Today, one of our fairly new guys came to the meeting to share with us a little about his past and why he comes to Chapter 1 now. He wanted to encourage us and let us know that what we do really matters, even when it seems like all we're doing is sowing with very little reaping.

He said that he had spent so much time being lonely that he just couldn't take it anymore. He described himself as a "slave to technology," having spent every waking hour alone in his apartment with his computer. His parents used to be so worried about him that they would show up on his doorstep in the middle of the night just to check on him. But, eventually they got tired of the one-sided relationship and they, too, stopped coming by.

He said that he had a Chapter 1 friend who was constantly inviting him to come on Monday nights and spent lots of time trying to share Jesus with him. But more than that, he was a genuine friend that stayed faithful through it all. He said that he was always nervous about opening up to his friend because he thought that the second he showed any type of curiosity about Christianity, he would be revealed for what he was, and this "Christian" guy would just judge him.
So he shut his friend out and avoided deep, meaningful conversation with him.

After 6 months of being invited weekly, he gave up and came to Chapter 1.
He was amazed at the people that he met. He couldn't believe that these people, too, looked at him with that same genuine look that his friend looked at him with.
He even described how much the handshakes meant to him. Lots of people shook his hand and wanted to talk to him and get to know him - but it had been so long since he had had any real contact with anyone that the handshakes were just so refreshing.
Even though he knew he was surrounded by people that wanted to love him, he went home with a hard heart. After spending so much time alone, he didn't know how to live any other way.

Something else was bothering him. That word "surrender." He just couldn't get away from it. Why was everyone always talking about surrendering? He couldn't understand why he had to surrender. Wasn't just believing Jesus existed enough? Why did he have to give up control?

That night, by himself in his apartment, things changed.

He knew he was on the verge of making that crucial connection with his Lord but he didn't know how. And since he didn't feel like he had anyone to talk him through it, he just broke down.
Not knowing what to say or do, he finally surrendered.

......................................................................................................
Just a few months later, he has become such a huge part of our ministry. He has pretty much taken on the new Chi Alpha website and is working on building it from the ground up. This guy is so talented and it's been amazing to see the way God has chosen to use him. What's even more amazing is seeing how this guy has surrendered his talents to the One who gave them to him in the first place.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to share in the fun when your kids finally come running home to you.

What happens when Daddy gets her dressed...

2008-08-23T23:17:00.003-05:00

All night long, I kept trying to figure out why her bloomers were slightly "thong-like."

Turns out, Daddy put her body through a leg hole.

Ahhh, I love moments like these!

Retraction

2008-08-19T22:23:00.002-05:00

Due to recent events and the video proof of them (see below), I would like to retract my statement that I am ready to do the whole "baby thing" over again.

Now that Brylie is mobile, I realize that a big, fat belly would just make it even more difficult to chase her around.

So, no. Talk to me again when we're potty training.

****************************************

Another thing, Brylie doesn't want baby food anymore.

The last two nights she's thrown fits, spit it out, and nose-dived into my chest.

I guess she's trying to tell me she doesn't want to grow up. And I'm ok with that : )

baby gates and outlet plugs

2008-08-18T23:04:00.006-05:00

Well, I guess it's official:

Life as I know it just got a little more dangerous.

What do you think this is?

2008-08-18T16:51:00.005-05:00

When I opened up the package of hair bows from China that I ordered, this was in there.

I guess it's some kind of free gift.

Cabbage on a key chain?

Pretty funny.

Somebody stop me

2008-08-15T01:22:00.003-05:00

All of a sudden,

I miss being pregnant.

And I miss having a newborn.

And I feel ready to do it over again.

But I'm not.

Am I?

Brandon would freak out if he knew I was thinking this.
Maybe I'll go tell him and videotape his reaction.
: )

Why I Love Brandon...

2008-08-11T22:55:00.003-05:00

There are lots of reasons, but here's one that just happened:

Brylie's teething pretty badly right now so getting her to sleep at night has been horrible for the last 3 nights. Tonight, I finally didn't know what to do so I just put her in her crib with music, a pacifier, and a wet washcloth to chew on (for her gums). She cried for a few minutes and then it got quiet.
Brandon came out 10 minutes later with a huge grin on his face and shaking his fists in victory.

I asked, "You did that?"
He said, "Yep."
"How?" I wondered in amazement.
He smiled and said, "I just rocked her, stroked her sweet little face, and told her all of the things I loved about her until she fell asleep."

I'm so glad he's my babydaddy.

Stinkin' Amazing

2008-08-07T01:42:00.007-05:00

Just because I'm amazed at what Jenny can do, I have to share...

And those are just a few of them!

...wow...

Borderline anxiety

2008-08-01T23:01:00.002-05:00

As of August 25th, I will be a full-time student, working two part-time jobs, with a husband and baby.
Pray for me.

Pray for Brandon, too. He'll be a full-time student, working a full-time job, with a wife and a baby.

And somehow, in all this craziness, we have a plan to help us avoid daycare. Who knows how this'll work, but it's the plan. Let's just say, there will be lots of "Brylie hand-offs" on campus.

I've always kept my schedule full - I prefer to be busy becaue it makes me feel like I'm not wasting time. However, I've never been THIS busy.

I'm slightly nervous, slightly anxious, but very excited to see what the future holds for our family.

So, here we go.

Down with Sprint

2008-07-29T23:02:00.002-05:00

I need my cell phone, but I can do without cell phone companies.

You know how they call you at 7 a.m. to offer you a *great deal* on a new phone when yours works just fine? Well that happened to me - but I managed to talk them down from $145 to $9.99 (it can be done, just set your mind to it).

Anyway, I told them I was not going to buy a new phone if I couldn't transfer my pictures over from my old phone. They assured me that I could. So I bought two (one for me, one for Brandon).

Then, after waiting in the Sprint line for 30 minutes, they told me I can't.
On top of that, they've been charging us an extra $15 a month for services that we didn't ask for or know we had - like internet!

I'm ready to start a coalition of people who are sick of being taken advantage of by companies who 'nickel and dime' their way through my bank account.

Oh, Sprint, why do I remain so faithfully yours?

Is this MY child?

2008-07-25T23:21:00.006-05:00

I just took this while she was sleeping peacefully in her crib.

I looked back over some past blogs (less than 4 weeks ago) where I was complaining about not being able to get her to sleep in her own bed. Thank you, Jesus, for giving us success in that area so we can have moments like these.

Boy, do I love this kid.

Tales from the Pediatrician's Office...

2008-07-25T01:04:00.003-05:00

Doctors crack me up.
When I say "doctors," I mean Brylie's pediatrician.
He's a nice guy - somewhat of a spazz - but a nice guy, nonetheless.
I've learned to only share some of the details with him - never the whole truth - why does he need to know things that might get me in trouble?

He asks, "How often is she eating?"
I reply, "As often as she wants...?"
Him: "How much does she eat?"
Me: "Umm..." (how am I supposed to know?!)
Him: "Does she sleep through the night?"
Me: "Yes" (what I mean by Yes is 'she sleeps in her crib 'til around 4 when she wakes up and I immediately put her in bed with me and Brandon and nurse her back to sleep. I do this mostly for me because I missed her and I don't care if that makes me a bad mother - I'm doing it.)

Once I made the mistake of telling him that I do this and his response was, "Ok, so our goal for the next few weeks is to get her sleep ALL through the night..."

Our goal? Am I supposed to call him in the middle of the night so he can come over and comfort my screaming baby?
Maybe that's his goal, but my goal is to sleep.

What a funny guy... he's all jokes.

What I do love about him is his thoroughness. That man knows my baby's body better than I do. But what I don't love about him is his inability to 'beat around the bush' when necessary.

So yesterday, we go in for her 6 month well baby exam, and he informs us that she has a heart murmur. Straight up - just like that. No "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about - this kind of thing is very common...." Nothing like that.
So, I immediately freak out (of course) because all I know about heart murmurs is that they involve the heart (a vital organ) and that sometimes people need those replaced (and images of the St. Jude commercials pop into my head).
He gives us the card of a pediatric cardiologist in San Antonio and tells us to make an appointment ASAP. That does not help with the freaking out.

So, what do I do?
I make the appointment. And I cry all day. And I hold Brylie and cherish every movement and sound she makes. And I google 'heart murmurs,' and freak out some more.
Then I talk to Sarah (a friend who's a nurse) and she tells me that heart murmurs are common, almost always mean nothing, and that Brylie's pedi is well-known as the 'resident spazz' who orders lots and lots of tests (unnecessarily at times) just to covers his bases.

So can I blame the guy for trying to be a good doctor? I do like that he's thorough - but does he have to freak me out like that? We're still keeping that cardiologist appointment just because now I need to know for sure.

But...
I'm not freaking out anymore - I just wish that appointment wasn't two months away so I wouldn't have to think about it until then.

I thought I was tough..

2008-07-23T23:07:00.006-05:00

...but I'm not. I wasn't prepared for this at all. Long after the pregnancy hormones are gone, the slightest little thing still makes me want to cry...

Her sweet little voice that wakes me up in the morning. And the smile that greets me as soon as I open my eyes.
The way she talks to her reflection in the mirror every morning.
A cute, toothless grin from underneath her pink duck towel.
Her pathetic little frown when she watches me walk out of a room.
How she reaches up for me when I come back.
How she knows it's bedtime when I turn on her lullaby c.d. and she immediately snuggles up against my chest and closes her eyes.
The way she looks at her daddy as if he's already her hero.
How Mommy can calm her down like no one else.

After 6 months of being her mommy, I feel like my heart is worn out from so much love. I literally feel like I don't have enough strength for the next 6 months.

How do people do this for so long? Doesn't it just get worse?

I really think it's impossible to understand even a hint of God's love for us until you experience the love of a parent for a child...

Remember that weekend I was excited about...?

2008-07-22T23:09:00.002-05:00

Ok, let me just start by saying that I am already at the point at which I can laugh about all of this...

So on Sunday, Brandon and I loaded up Brylie and Gracie (the dog) and drove down to my parents ranch in the hill country. They told us they would keep the baby while Brandon and I went to Schlitterbahn on Monday.

We're driving out in the middle of nowhere, in broad daylight, and we hit a deer. No joke. Actually, it hit us...it slammed into the drivers' side door and flew over the top of our car. There was no significant damage to our car, but this is the 4th deer we have hit since we've been married. That's a lot of deer accidents in 2 1/2 years. So we weren't too thrilled about that.

Then, we wake up the next morning and drive what we thought was going to be 2 hours to New Braunfels. Nope. 2 hours of road construction later, we've only travelled 45 miles. Fantastic.

Finally, we get to Schlitterbahn. We're so stinkin' excited to be there. We drive up to the parking lot and we're met with a large sign that reads, "Parking lot full. Please proceed to west side parking lot."

Ok, for those of you who don't know how Schlitterbahn is set up, that means 'drive a few more miles down the road to the not-as-fun part of the waterpark and tram your way back to the cool kids area.' So we did.

And that one was full too.

I'm thinking, "It's MONDAY, people! Don't you have jobs?!?"

Finally, we found a ghetto-looking parking lot that we could park in. It looked like a parking lot that Schlitterbahn rents when they run out of other parking lots.

Brandon asks, "Should we just got back into San Antonio and hang out for the day?"

I say, "No, you've been looking forward to this, let's just do it."

So, we trekked up to the ticket booth, paid $78.00 (with the coupon) and get on the tram to go to the cool part of Schlitterbahn.

When we get there, we get in line for the Master Blaster. An hour and a half later, we slide out of the last tube of the Master Blaster and say, "That wasn't worth the wait."

Man.

After a few trips around the wave pool, we had lunch, walked around to find a short line, couldn't find one, trammed back to the other park, walked around some more, and then left.

I was going to attempt to earn back some of the $78 by selling my wristband to one of the latecomers in the parking lot, but Brandon told me that was unethical and dishonest.

So, we went back to the ranch...

And the next day, we had a lot of fun hanging out with Brylie and my parents...free fun. We built a deck at their house and swam in the swimming hole. It really was awesome.

So, the moral of this story is: fun is free, not $78.

And, don't worry, I'm pretty sure the deer was able to just shake it off.

Mommy Moments, both good...and bad

2008-07-17T00:00:00.008-05:00

First..."The Good"

I ordered some of those headbands and bows from the Chinese Ebay lady that Melissa told me about. I'm stoked.

I cannot wait to go to Schlitterbahn with my hubby (and my hubby ONLY) on Monday! This is our first official "date" since Brylie was born. My parents volunteered to keep her for the day at their ranch which is just a drive from New Braunfels.

Maybe we'll kiss and hold hands in the MasterBlaster line like the teenagers... : )

I like to wait until Bry is good and asleep and then just go stare at her in her crib. I'm sure I'm not the only one to do this, but sometimes I just want to pick her up and give her a big kiss and hug!
But I don't...no way.

I painted her toenails today. I've been wanting to do it for a while, so I just waited until she fell asleep in her carseat and then I grabbed the polish! So stinkin' cute...we match!
After I did it, I thought, "I hope she's not too young for this." Oh well, it's adorable and we got some great pictures!

And now, for your entertainment, the "Bad Mommy Moment."

Last night was my little bro's 21st birthday, so we all went to Chili's to celebrate. While we're sitting there, I picked up a lemon (that I thought was mine) and put it up to Brylie's mouth for her to lick (which she loves). After about a minute, my brother says, "Um, is that MY lemon?" At first, everyone looked at him like, "Wow, pretty stingy with the lemon, Dave..." until we realized that not only was the lemon actually his, but it had come out of his "21st birthday celebratory drink!"

Oh my...

So, my 6 month old baby now knows what alcohol tastes like. And worse, she wanted the lemon back.

Growing Up

2008-07-14T01:12:00.005-05:00

I'm feeling the need to grow up. And I don't like it.

Every morning I open my closet and I really really want to put on my hole-y jeans and an old thrift store t-shirt. All that stuff reminds me of the old days when Brandon and I were in College Station, dating, and hanging out with our friends all night...and then waking up (sometimes) for class at 8 a.m. We would all go to the vintage stores looking for some 10 cent "gems" and sometimes get in arguments about who saw it first.

If a fantastic thrift store shirt happened to be a size medium, I would have to hide it in the bottom of my drawer or else Brandon would snatch it and try to squeeze his big, giant, manly muscles into it (Love you babe).

I have this one t-shirt that my friend, Laura, begs me for everytime she sees me in it. It's a "YMCA Father/Daughter Indian Princess" t-shirt that I found at the Catholic Charities Thrift Store for a quarter. It's a Youth Large, but I guess I stretched it out enough over the years, and it's full of tiny holes. It's awesome. Brandon loves it on me, too, so I still wear that one. I'll probably be buried in it...but Laura would just dig me up.

I love those clothes and I just can't get rid of them.
That would be officially becoming a grown-up.

I'm just not ready for blazers and slacks and high heels, at least not on a daily basis. I'd better end up being self-employed.

I guess it's all a generational thing. I'm just from the generation that ok'd vintage clothes in college.

The more I think about it, the more I think I'll just be a grown-up that sometimes wears thrift store t-shirts...

(For those of you who were hoping to read something insightful or introspective, I'm sorry.)

The amazingly awesome Indian Princess t-shirt.

I need an intervention

2008-07-11T23:01:00.003-05:00

My latest obsession: finding the perfect headband/bow for Brylie.

I have scoured ebay and all of the online boutiques, but I can't seem to find anything good for less than $10. And that, my friends, is just too much to pay for a hair accessory.

Despite having no skills, I really tried to make one myself.
but...

Let's just say there was a hot glue incident that does not need to be described in detail.

I don't know the kid in this picture but I really like her headband.

But no one sells those crocheted headbands!

Both HobbyLobby and Hancock's said, "I don't know why we stopped selling them - everyone loved them." Clearly the higher-ups dropped the ball on this one.

So, in conclusion, if anyone has one that they don't need anymore, please, please, put me out of my misery.

Today I was a single mother...

2008-07-10T23:20:00.003-05:00

...of two.

Brylie and Brandon.

Brylie had one of her "days" where I am absolutely not allowed to put her down for anything.
Brandon woke up sick, went to work anyway, came home early from work, slept all day, work up to eat 3 bites of soup, and went back to bed for the night.
Oh, and he called me three times to come in a rub his back...poor guy.

Today was supposed to be my "get everything done that I haven't gotten done yet" day, but none of it got done.

Let me just say, that I do not know how single mothers do it. I couldn't even fold a load of laundry, much less clean the house, work, go to school, and care for everyone who needed caring for. I have much respect for those women.

So, I was standing in the middle of the living room, holding Brylie (who still would not let me put her down), and looking around at everything that didn't get done; and I was throwing a pity party for myself.

So, I strapped Brylie in the old stroller, kissed my hubby on the forehead, and went for a nice, long walk around the neighborhood to talk to God.

He made it better : )

------------

Later, I read a friend's blog. She's been trying for almost 2 years to get pregnant and just found out that she's 5 weeks along. I clicked back through some of her past blogs and just about lost it as every month had a blog that said, "No baby this month..."
I sure take some things for granted.

Mid-Year's Resolution

2008-07-10T00:07:00.002-05:00

My dad told me this story and his new resolution based on it. I liked it so much that I've resolved the same...

My parents were visiting some friends' church in a different town this last Sunday.
The minister called all of the kids up to the front for the "children's Bible study" time, and apologized to them because he kept dabbing his chin with a kleenex. He told them that he had cut his chin earlier and hadn't been able to get it to stop bleeding.

One of the little kids piped up, "Did you ask Jesus to make it stop bleeding?"

The minister just smiled and shook his head. "No, I haven't done that yet."

Then he started his lesson.

My dad, sitting in the pew, had readied himself for a prayer for healing. He was surprised to see that minister just shake his head and continue on with the bible study.

That got him thinking...

Which got me thinking...

What did that teach those kids?

That it's nice to talk about taking our problems to Jesus, but we don't do that in real life? Or maybe we just take the big ones. Or the small ones.
Are we afraid that He might say "No"? And if He does, will that affect our faith in His ability to take care of us?

How often do we pray 'in theory?'

When someone says, "Can you please pray for me?" no one ever says, "Nope" or even, "Ooo, I'll try...if I remember." We smile, nod, and assure them that they will be in our prayers. But even those of us who hit our knees daily have forgotten at least one prayer promise to another person.

At least.

So, I've adopted my dad's new resolution:

When someone asks, "Can you please pray for me?" I will.

Right then and there.

Grace.

2008-07-07T23:47:00.010-05:00

Brandon and I decided today that we needed to go look for a new place to live. As it turns out, our landlord does not love us as he should and when we signed the lease, he neglected to tell us that our new home would have no insulation, many leaks, and 30-year-old carpet.

Since we can't take a baby to live in the ghetto and nice apartments (including bills) are ridiculously high, we're staying here.

I'm trying to look on the bright side though.

There's a back yard for Gracie, it's very centrally-located, and it's cute.

That "cute" thing is what gets me. It definitely has some curb appeal.

Even if it does get us ginormous electric bills.

Hmm.

God's never let us down.

Speaking of which...

Last week, I was slightly bummed about my support with Chi Alpha ending this month. I'm staying with it because I love it, but now, we'll be getting by on God's grace.

I started sending out the old resume' and I found this job with Big Brothers Big Sisters that I knew I would love...only problem is they wanted me to work 32 hours a week.

Not going to happen.

What would I do with Brylie?

So, we told God it was His call. The next day I got a random call from the head of the Psych department offering me a graduate assistantship..... .....that I didn't apply for.

Thank you, Lord!

Garage Sale on the 4th

2008-07-04T23:32:00.003-05:00

Well, Ashley and I got a hankerin' to have a garage sale. We told our husbands to get all of the old junk together and get it out in the yard, thinking this would be a great way to celebrate America's independence. And boy was it!

It was a long, hot, tiring day....but we raked in over $700 put together!

Then, just because we hadn't sweat enough for one day, we went to the church picnic to sweat a little more. It was great though! Brylie tried watermelon and loved it so much I think she might just like me to fill her bottle with watermelon juice from here on out.

Finally, we came home, got ready for bed, and it took all of 4 minutes of crying in the crib for her to fall asleep. Hooray! We've officially won the bedtime battle!

Another poop story...

2008-07-02T23:09:00.000-05:00

The other day at church, Brylie was sitting on my lap, and she tooted really loudly. I didn't really think anything of it (even though I should have...we're trying new diapers). When I handed her back to Brandon, I noticed that there was a PUDDLE of poop on my dress and she was absolutely covered in it. Brandon had to carry her out of church superman style and I had to sop up the poop with wipes before I walked out with the diaper bag covering my dress. I'm glad I took an extra outfit for her that day. I wish there was enough room in that diaper bag for an extra outfit for me.
.....................
Brylie is officially a "crib sleeper" now! It's so nice to get to actually have the light on and talk while we get ready for bed. Yay!
She also had her first bites of real food yesterday. 5 bites of banana. What a big girl! I can't believe how quickly she's growing.
It really hits home when I see how little Addielynn is. I held her yesterday at the playdate and she felt like she weighed nothing! Then, I hold my big old baby and she seems huge!

Progress?

2008-07-01T01:36:00.000-05:00

I think we might be doing a little better with the sleeping situation...
She's now sleeping in her crib - but that opens up a whole new can of worms as far as motherhood paranoias go. All of a sudden, my child is a "tummy sleeper." Believe me, I know the SIDS risks - I've read all about them. But it is what it is.
Oh, I don't put her on her tummy, but she manages to get there despite my best intentions. So, for the first few hours, I would go in and flip her back to her back. Finally, I gave up and came in to check my trusty parenting blogs. They all said that when a baby can flip to their stomach, they are typically strong enough to move their heads and breathe.
So, ok.
Whatever gets me my sleep.

Slumbering Setbacks

2008-06-27T23:48:00.000-05:00

Well, after 5 days of "vacation" and 5 nights of a different sleeping situation, we are now back to square one.

Brylie simply cannot sleep in her own bed.

The problem is we spent all 5 of those nights sleeping in the same bed, snuggling and snacking whenever she felt like it.

Now, it's no good at all.

If there's one thing I've learned in the last 5 months, it's that there's more than one right way to do things. What works for some may not work for me, so I've refused to let myself get down because Brylie doesn't just conk out at 9 p.m. like "every other baby in the world." The mistake I made was reading a parenting blog that said, "Letting your baby 'cry it out' is telling her that no one cares about her. Eventually she'll give up, not because she's sleepy, but because she's given up all hope that her mommy will come for her."

Now, I know that letting Brylie cry for a few minutes isn't going to ruin her forever, but when she cries for 5 minutes and then just lies there staring pitifully at the ceiling, what's my first thought?

"Oh great, she's given up all hope that her mommy will come for her!"

Ughhhhh......

Even though I know that's a ridiculous concept and the world would be filled with way more crazy people if "crying it out" led to a future in an institution, I just can't do it anymore.

Maybe I'm weak.

I wish babies had a "sleep mode" button on their foreheads.

Hmm.

Poop in the Tub

2008-05-09T16:54:00.000-05:00

Today I found out that my child is not the prodigy that I thought she was. Up until today, I just laughed when I heard moms talk about their babies pooping while in the bathtub. They would shake their heads as they remembered specific times when they were faced with the struggle of getting a wet, wriggly, poo-covered baby out of the tub long enough to drain and refill.

I thought, "My baby is almost 4 months old and she's never pooped in the tub! She must be a genius because she knows that the tub is not the place for that. It'll be so easy to potty-train - let's start next month!"

Boy, was I wrong...

When I shower, I put Brylie in her little blue tub in the bathtub with me. She loves it. Today, I was just showering away when I heard a loud toot. I looked down, and sure enough, there were bubbles and everything. I looked proudly at my daughter and said exactly what you could expect her daddy to say to her in moments like these... "Good one!"

But what came next was not so good. Before I knew it, she was sitting in a 3 gallon tub of poop.
My first reaction was to drain her tub and refill it - but then I thought, "I'll just get it all over me." Plus, she was still working on it, so I didn't want to jump the gun and have to start the whole process over again.

Once I got out of the shower, I turned around to view the final damage - it was not pretty. So, I drained her tub, refilled it, pulled her out (in the process of all this) and held her under the faucet so that I could put a semi-clean baby back in her tub. It worked, but as the tub was draining, I noticed the water wasn't going down the drain.

"NO!!! Standing water is bad enough but poo-filled standing water!"

Just a shampoo label stuck over the drain....whew!

Later on, she rolled over for the first time.

Maybe she is a prodigy.